Thursday, February 11, 2010

learning

Things I have learned this week:

I have the best friends ever. Seriously.

Kendyll and Shaylyn are two of the most adorable gals I know.

I shouldn't read into any of the crazy dreams I have.

Hearing from an old friend out of the blue is priceless.

What I consider short hair is not what
other people consider short hair.

I am allergic to contacts. I think. And I'm upset about it.

The government hates people who are married who don't own houses,don't have kids, and aren't going to school.

We are getting screwed by our taxes.
And no, I don't want to talk about it.

I cry every time I see a TurboTax and/or H&R Block commercial.

Sometimes, all I want to do is cuddle up in a blanket and watch tv.

I am thoroughly entertained by Joss Whedon's show Firefly.

My dream is to be able to stay home and cook all day.

I would totally rock a Food Network Channel show.

My dad thinks I make the best chocolate cake ever.
But don't ask... It's a secret recipe.

I am not addicted to my phone.
I can be without it for hours and not care.
(Which I consider a great feat, compared to all of those Blackberry/iPhone addicts. No offense.)

I wish I were more like my mom.

Sometimes when everything is going wrong,
God lets you know it'll be ok.

Tithing blessings are real.

I have changed so much in the last 5 years.

Yet, so much of me is still the same.

I am so grateful for my family.

I miss joking and badgering with my brothers.

I have so much to learn.

And I am truly showered with blessings from up above.

Don't ask me to count them, because I'll go forever.

And then the dishes will never get done.

Or the laundry.

I am learning. I'm changing. I'm growing. I'm re-learning. I'm realizing. I'm remembering. For better or for worse. Crossing my fingers it's for good. I have so many things to work on. Topping that list is probably my attitude. I've been stuck in a rut for a while, and the 'misfortunes' have been getting the best of me. I've tried to be optimistic... for a minute. And then BAM! TurboTax commercial. And then when I decide to stop my blubbering and wipe my tears - BAM! I make an awful dinner. And then when I clear the table and try to hide my hurt pride - BAM! A glass is dropped and broken. BAM! BAM! BAM! (It's been a rough week... Don't judge me. Please.)

But I need to stop focusing on all of that and instead see that luckily, no one was sliced when said glass was dropped. And luckily, I usually do make great dinners - And I can try again and make a new dinner tomorrow. And luckily, we have food so that I can make dinner tomorrow. And luckily, I have a tomorrow. (Barring the unexpected... of course.)

So I'm lucky. And by lucky I mean blessed. Because I'm pretty sure they're the same thing.

And I'm learning... lots of things. About myself. About what I want to be. And when I grow up, (and maybe before...) I want to be better. Nay, I want to be the best. Not necessarily better than everyone else. I don't want the responsibility of being the best at everything... that would certainly get tiring after... like two minutes. I want to be the best at being me. I want to be the best me.

Slowly, but surely, I'm learning how to do that. And I've got so much more to learn.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

I love you. That simply, I love you.

Lauren Davison said...

I love you, too! And Firefly is great. They made a movie after the show was canceled called Serenity. Pretty good! And BOO to rough weeks. And at least you make dinner for your husband... :) SOME of us are still working on that after three years...

Oh, and also--my verification word was zinatra. if only it was vrank zinatra. :) Love you!

Megan said...

Shanna, I miss you so much! I was thinking about you the other day and about that awesome birthday cake you made me! Gee that was forever ago! :) Sorry about your taxes, and yes you could rock a food network show!

Kiley said...

Shan, I hope you know how perfect I think you are! It's true. Even after I read about your awful week (I'm so sorry), you are my hero. Who else could see the positive in everything that went wrong. I love you!

Kadee said...

I made it into another blog post. :) also, remember the pioneers. It will keep a smile on your face.

lynette said...

I love your writings. They are so full with emotions and feelings. You really do have a talent that I admire.
Writing and putting your thoughts on paper is going to be one thing that your children will love to read and be glad that they have a priceless keepsake. Keep up the good work. You're a choice daughter of God. He Has faith in you.. I have faith in you but most of all you have a wonderful husband who admires you and loves you..

Shaylyn said...

Shanna, I think you are adorable! It was wonderful to see you during my trip. It's now a must any time I'm out visiting Kendyll that I have to see you too! :)

Camille said...

I am sure that the government hates people who own houses and have kids. That is what they told me last year. Stupid taxes.