And while I always am thankful for so many things, this year I'm overflowing with gratitude
for our family
for our home
for our delicious turkeys
for my job
for our friends
for talents
for the trials that have brought us closer to God and closer to each other
for health
for warmth
for the gospel
for a magnificent husband
and for our little miracle growing in me - our daughter. (She's going to be here so soon! And we already love her so much.)
There are so many other things that I'm thankful for. My list keeps on growing and growing with every passing day.
Our day has been delightful, and here's hoping each of you had the same.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
May we always be grateful for what we have and always remember it - more than just one Thursday every year.
...I've waited my whole life to feel this blessed... ~Kalai
There are so many words,
and yet not quite enough to adequately express how excited and happy we are
to announce that our firstborn,
Baby Girl Larson,
will arrive in just a few months --
mid-January.
We're beyond thrilled, and have waited for this little one for a long time. (I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for this; ever since I was a little girl, myself.) It's amazing how much love I feel for this little girl growing in me, and the thought of meeting her and seeing her face brings sweet, happy tears to my eyes. And I feel super blessed to have a loving, caring partner and husband who feels the same (minus all the crying, of course).
Its been a whirlwind year health-wise, and wouldn't you know it, right when I was healed from the Plague of 2013, this little miracle happened. Timing is funny, isn't it? So between MRSA and being pregnant, I've spent about seven months of this year feeling icky and nauseous... and about two months of feeling wonderful. REALLY tired. But so wonderful.
Our parents are elated. And our siblings could not be more excited. (I'm not sure who's more excited - Kendyll or Pieface...) It's been fun sharing the news with them. We're so lucky to have so many people who love us and already love this baby. Friends, family -- we're definitely feeling the love.
Now, Baby Girl just needs to keep growing healthy and strong
... and I'll keep taking naps everyday. [grin.]
Back in April, Brans was invited to the National Collegiate Model Arab League Conference at Georgetown for several days in Washinton D.C. Since it was the week of my birthday, we decided that we would both go out a few days early and see the sights and have a little vacation, then I would fly home and Brans would stay for the conference.
Prior to this trip, I had been on an airplane once... for 45 minutes on a flight to California. Not really a true airline experience. But this time, I got the real deal. We took the red eye flight from SLC to JFK then caught a connecting flight on to D.C. It was long... and we were tired... but it went well.
We saw SO many things while we were in D.C. - we saw most of the monuments, spent hours and hours in the American History Museum, Air & Space Museum, National Archives and the Library of Congress. We got to take a tour of the Capitol Building. We even took a day trip up to Gettysburg - and how perfect for us that it was the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg!
Everything was spectacular.
But my favorite part? We were there during the peak of the Cherry Blossoms. They were splendid. It's always been a dream of mine to see the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom... so this year when it lined up with my birthday (and especially after the crappy year I'd had so far), I counted it as special present just for me. And let me tell you... it did NOT disappoint.
But as much as my descriptions and stories can help you imagine how awesome our trip was, nothing does it justice like actual photos (and even then... some photos don't capture the magnificence).
Like I said. The Cherry Blossoms were incredible.
Happy Birthday to me!
We got to take a tour of the Capitol Building.
The building is m.a.s.s.i.v.e and so stunningly beautiful.
Coincidentally, the day we went, Congress was in session voting on a piece of gun legislature.
I didn't get a great photo, but there were security guards e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. holding M16s.
I didn't know if I should feel really safe or really scared... ha.
Funny note:
Last minute, we got in on a guided tour and were assigned to a delightful tour guide and a group of about 15 other people. Near the end of the tour, we were in the National Statuary Hall, where our tour guide told us a few interesting facts about the building, statues, etc... She then led us over to the most recent addition to the hall: a statue of Rosa Parks. She informed us that the statue of Rosa Parks replaced the statue of Robert E. Lee, which was moved to another room. There was a European family in the group scratching their heads, and the man sort of scoffed and, in a thick accent said, "Who is this Rosa Park woman and what makes her so special that she would replace a man so important as Robert E. Lee?" Our tour guide looked shocked and replied, "Oh, sir! Are you saying you don't know who Miss Rosa Parks is? Well, let me tell you!" It was hysterical. She, as a black woman, understandably could not be more prouder of Rosa Parks, and launched into the whole story of how Rosa Parks would not move to the back of the bus and how she changed America for people like her and her family. It was one of the highlights of the trip.
I think my favorite building in D.C. was the Library of Congress.
These photos don't even come close to do it justice.
It's one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen.
We saw all of the National Monuments.
Again, such beautiful and stunning buildings and statues.
I was surprised by just how enormous all of these things were.
But even more than the size, I was caught off guard by the spiritual nature of these places.
There's a holiness and a reverence about them.
While looking at the Vietnam Memorial, we found a relative.
Harry D. Ashcraft. Not sure how we're related, but it's rare to find an Ashcraft.
(Time to do more family history!)
We could have spent days in museums alone...
But we saw lots of cool things in the American History Smithsonian, Air & Space Museum
and the Gettysburg Museum (which was actually our favorite).
Gettysburg was one of our favorite places.
We're so glad we took the trip.
I didn't really know what to expect at Gettysburg, to be honest, but it was amazing.
Like the National Monuments, it was spiritual. Holy. Sacred.
(P.S. If you ever want to go, I highly recommend that you take Brans with you.
I had my own handsome tour guide.
He knows everything about this place.
We would be driving on the road through Gettysburg, and he'd say, "Up here on the right should be this"
or "Let's walk up there. Just above there is where this happened."
Seriously. The smartest guy I know.)
And of course, we ate well. Life is too short not too. [Grin.]
Our favorite was an all you can eat seafood buffet in D.C., just up the street from our hotel.
It was delicious.
I think I ate twice my weight in crab and lobster.
So. Good.
It was a great trip.
And we're so glad we went, and can't wait to go back.
We've had some pretty awesome adventures lately, and while I have photo-filled posts and stories that I'm dying to share, I just haven't gotten around to it yet... but I will.
So before I forget, here's a [brief] list of some of the things we've been up to lately:
Brans was invited to participate in the National Model Arab League in Washington D.C. this spring through the University of Utah. The competition started the day after my birthday, so we decided to make a little vacation out of it and I went with him. We were there for the a.m.a.z.i.n.g. cherry blossoms, saw so many awesome monuments and museums, and spent a day at Gettysburg. And I may or may not have taken 2000 photos...
My plague of MRSuck was on and off again until the middle of April. I was actually quite miserable up until the first day in D.C., but since then, I've had no signs of it returning. After a few crazy months, some pretty extreme regimens to eradicate the bug, and lots of pain and frustration, I feel much better. I'm still easily worn out, but so, so, so much better. And my voice is back. Isn't it about time?! My voice was pretty much gone from Christmas until just about a week ago when I woke up to a normal voice one day. Super weird, but I'll take it. After our D.C. trip, I saw a few more doctors just as follow ups, and met with a specialist about my voice. The good news: There was nothing medically wrong with me or my voice. The bad news: he wanted me to go to voice therapy for a few months. The great news: my first voice therapy appointment was supposed to be this morning... but I cancelled the appointment. Happy day!
Last weekend, in sort of a last-minute-everything-aligned-so-we-could way, we packed up and drove to San Diego with Chad for a few days to welcome Blake home from his mission in Belgium and the Netherlands. It was such a nice trip. We are so glad everything worked out (between school and work) for it to happen. It was fun to hear his stories, see photos from Harold and Shannon's trip to pick him up and to eat lots of chocolate (obviously) and real German gummy bears. I'm in love with them. We ate more Mexican food than we should have [but seriously, how can you resist?], stayed up way too late every night and had a blast.
Branson was offered an internship in the Special Collections Library up at the U this summer, which is great experience for what he wants to do in the future. This is his first week, and he's super jazzed about it. It's a great opportunity for him. With the internship offer, he decided to defer graduation until the end of the year. The end is in sight! He'll graduate with his Bachelors in History and Middle East Studies. He's worked so hard over the past few years. I'm truly so proud of him. He's one of the smartest people I know.
I've been super busy at work. Are you surprised? I feel like I'm always busy at work... but being so sick for so long and missing so much time has made it even worse. Some days I feel like I'm such a slacker because I basically missed two months this year already, but I'm grateful for my understanding boss and my team not giving me a hard time about it. They're great. So now, I'm still just trying to get my bearings and catch up on everything. Stressful. But fine.
We recently decided to expand the Larson Family Farm and add turkeys and ducks to our flock, bringing the total animal count to two ducks, two turkeys (named Thanksgiving and Christmas), nine baby chicks, fifteen hens and two dogs. Now we just need a goat and an alpaca... And some sheep. [Maybe someday] Ha ha Who knew I was made to be a farm girl?
My baby sis, Pie Face competed in the State Debate Tournament last month... and WON! As a 4th grader. Debating affirmative for Nuclear Power. Amazing. When I was in 4th grade, I'm not sure I even knew what Nuclear Power was... Good grief. She's brilliant. Apparently, after Pie Face and her partner Lena gave their presentation, their teacher congratulated them on a job well done, but told them that they could probably leave and not stay for the awards ceremony at the end of the night. No 4th graders had ever won, and the odds were certainly not in their favor. Lena's family left, but my parents decided to stay... And were so surprised and glad they did! The girls got a trophy that's about as tall as they are. We're super proud of Pie Face. She's the smartest Ashcraft, I'm convinced.
Now we're getting ready for two twentysomething boys to live in our house for the summer. Both Blake and Chad will be staying with us until the fall. So we've been cleaning and reorganizing and making room for them. It's going to be a party. Chad and I have already declared it to be the Summer of Smoothies. I can't wait. Though I'm going to have to figure out how to keep up on their apple juice intake. each of the summers that these boys lived with us before (separately) I swear we went though gallons of apple juice a week! I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with their drinking habits. [grin.]
...So for how crappy and miserable our year started off... This spring and summer are shaping up to make up for it.
On Friday night, A-Team and T-Ca$h came down to see it with the rest of the fam, and by intermission, we were all just beaming - "so proud to be an Ashcraft" was uttered more than a few times by more than just me. Now, maybe you think I'm biased. And maybe you think that I have quite a bit of pull with my siblings and that they'll just like what I like. [Ok. Maybe I'm bossy.] But - Tanner totally delivered. And not just Tan. Ben was phenomenal. Diana was adorably perfect. Adam could not have been more like the movie. The whole cast was just so darn amazing.
Obviously, my favorite parts involved Tanner and Ben. So, for those who missed the opportunity, here's a peek [Please forgive the incessant cheering and screaming. I told you it would happen. Even without having a voice.]:
Whatever plans you have made for this week -- cancel them.
I know you've got jobs, and callings, and families, and friends, and so forth.
But I'm telling you, you need to find a night this week [or the afternoon on Friday] and go see Olympus High School's production of Singin' in the Rain.
Seriously.
There are so many reasons to partake of this spring masterpiece:
First of all, it's the. very. last. thing. ever. to happen on Olympus' legendary stage. [They've rebuilt the school just to the north on the same lot, and it's magnificently, beautifully enormous... and they're tearing down the old school in just a matter of weeks. But, so many incredible things have happened on Olympus' stage. So many talents. So many memories. So. Much. Good.] Go take the two hours, and be able to say that you were there for the last epic production on the Original Olympus High School Stage. Do it. It's totally worth it.
Second, it's SINGIN'. IN. THE. RAIN. A classic. I've recently discovered that there are throngs of people missing out on this fantastic movie. It's shocking, really. So whether you've seen the movie, love the play, or have never even heard of it -- Go. It's awesome.
Third, the show is simply darling. I've had a super rough 2013 so far, but this totally cheered me up. Even more then my new yellow wallet. It's a feel good story, and the music is super fun and catchy. It's impossible for it to not cheer you up - even if you don't need cheering.
Fourth, [SPOILER ALERT] it rains. Actual water falling from the sky. And don't fret, because if you sit in the first few rows, you are provided with a rain poncho.
Fifth, [I told you there were so many] The talent in the show is great. Ben Smith, whom I adore and have a mini crush on, is a perfect Don Lockwood. He's suave, and charming, and handsome, and I could just listen to him sing all. day. long. The girl who plays Kathy is adorable - and Fun Fact: I work with her dad. She has a gorgeous voice. The girl who plays Lina Lamont is hysterical. She nails the voice from the movie - and her mannerisms made me chuckle through the whole entire show. "Well, I can't make love TO A BUSH!" The dancers are great. The director is hilarious - right out of the movie. It's just so dang good. Go see it!
Sixth, and most importantly... My boy Tanner - Tan the Man, Little T, Number 5 of 8, Tan TT Showbiz - is Cosmo. And he could. not. be. better. He's witty. And clever. And dramatic. And gracefully. And silly. And flexible. And he makes. me. laugh. "Make 'em laugh! Make 'em laugh! Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?!" AND he tap dances like a boss. And not just that, ladies and gents, he actually plays the piano in the show. What a guy!
Now, I know that pride is bad. And that you can get caught in a vicious cycle with said pride... But. I am so proud of Tanner. He has worked so hard. And has totally sacrificed his body (totally sick bruises all over) for this role. He's magnificent. I couldn't stop smiling through the whole show - every time he came on stage. I'm totally overcome with pride - but the good kind. The kind of rejoice-in-the-successes-of-my-brother pride.
Have I convinced you yet?
GO SEE SINGIN' IN THE RAIN!
If you need someone to go with, call me. I'll be there.
If you aren't sure you can make it and need even more reasons to entice you, let me know. [I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not I will make a chocolate cake just to get you there, if that's what it takes. No joke: I bribed a kid sitting behind me to cheer and clap louder during the show with a bag of fruit snacks. So. Let me know.]
If you don't enjoy loud laughter, applause, and cat-calls throughout the show, then maybe we shouldn't sit by each other. But I'll still go with you. And we can talk at intermission. Grin.
If you have a bunch of stuff going on this week, just put it off for one day [ONE DAY!] to come see the show.
You won't regret it.
And it will mean so much to the kids in it who have worked so hard to put on such a fun show. They deserve a great audience [which obviously didn't show up tonight.... I felt like I was the only one laughing and clapping through the whole show. Lame.]
I'm singing in the rain Just singing in the rain What a glorious feelin' I'm happy again I'm laughing at clouds So dark up above The sun's in my heart And I'm ready for love Let the stormy clouds chase Everyone from the place Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face I walk down the lane With a happy refrain Just singin', Singin' in the rain
We had dinner at my parents house the other night, and when we walked in the door, Braden said:
Shan! Your face doesn't even look messed up!
I'm choosing to take that as a compliment. (The first go-around with MRSA, he was the one who said: Shan, you look normal from behind! If he weren't such a cute boy and I didn't know he meant well, I'd probably punch him in the throat.)
I bought a new wallet, but I'm mourning my old one. It was the perfect wallet and the perfect shade of green. And it's no longer available for purchase. Sad day. So, instead, I got a yellow one. Hopefully, it's just the right dose of cheery color to compensate.
And I feel like a real person again. I have new bank and insurance cards, a new drivers license, and everything is starting to get back to normal.
I've been advised to take it easy, and not jump back into my normal routine too soon. Everyone is pretty sure that this time around, stress induced MRSA to come back. (Or as Chad calls it, MRSuckiness. Clever boy. And totally appropriate.) Needless to say, I've had a stressful couple of years. And as part of my mending, I'm trying to figure out how to manage that better.
I have a stressful job, and it doesn't ever really slow down.
I'm like my mother, and I like to help as many people as I can
and just don't like to tell people no.
I put a lot of pressure on myself -
I'm a perfectionist, and just hate not giving something my all.
I've also been blessed with many talents, and sometimes I feel like if I don't use them and keep developing them, I'm taking these gifts for granted, and they will be lost. Again, with the perfectionism.
But I'm learning that I can't do everything.
I'm trying to learn how to balance well.
And I'm learning that sometimes I need to let people help me,
instead of always doing the helping.
I'm learning that I can't do everything all the time, as much as I'd like to.
And I'm learning how truly great it is
to have so many people love you and care about you.
And I'm continually amazed at how wonderful my husband is.
He takes such good care of me. He's quite the find, you know.
I've so appreciate prayers and healing thoughts on my behalf.
I feel so supported and so loved by so many. So thank you.
I am feeling better. But still not whole.
I have a constant migraine. And I get tired quickly.
(Confession: I am enjoying having to take my daily nap.
If only there were a way to implement that into my life. For the rest of my days. Hm...)
I have scars on my head from the MRSuck. A constant reminder,
along with the pain I still feel.
But I know they will fade. And I'll be completely better.
So I'm declaring that March is for Mending.
...And college basketball. March Madness is so close. It always makes me so happy.
Go Hoosiers! We're pulling for Indiana to take it all.
Now, I have lots to be grateful for, and things can always be worse, but... it's been a rough few days around our house.
Guess who's what's back... back again... MRSA. Ick.
The good news: my eyes can both open. The bad news: super painful.
The good news: last time I was on the wrong antibiotics for a week. this time, I'm starting on the rights ones so it should be more manageable and go away soon(er). At least, I'm hoping so.
The bad news: I also have a cold, and every time I cough or sniffle, I feel like my head is (once again) being hit by a metal bat.
I lost someone stole my wallet.
The good news: no one has tried to use our credit/debit cards.
The bad news: I had $200 cash in my wallet.
The good news: ... ok, so there's not a lot of good news when your wallet falls out of your purse after you pay for dinner with your friends, and you don't notice for a day and then you go back and it's disappeared, and no one has turned it in and you think some punk kid probably picked it up, stole the cash and then trashed your wallet with all of your belongings in it making you have to get new ones and wrack your swollen brain to remember everything you had saved in your wallet.
The bad news: I have to get a new drivers license. And my head is swollen with MRSA. And I refuse to get a new picture taken while my ethnicity isn't clear. (Seriously, almost unrecognizable.) So... I'm ID-less.
I lit our kitchen stove on fire.
The good news: I put out the fire.
The bad news: I started a fire.
The good news: no hair was singed. And it was only a little fire. And there was no damage done.
The bad news: I lost my voice again, so when I yelled for Brans to come help, he couldn't hear me and I panicked while putting out the fire by myself. (He came up about 5 minutes later and said, "Did you burn something?" Ha.)
So... I'm totally ready to be done with this. I'm hoping March ushers in better things for us. Because so far, 2013 has not been very nice to me. And I'd really like to enjoy more than a couple weeks of being healthy before I'm knocked down again. Too much to ask? I don't think so.
2012 was a stressful, fun, busy year... particularly in December. I think that it all caught up with me the day after Christmas with quite a nasty cold. Coughing, sneezing, losing my voice...
[My family laughed because I sounded like Marcel the Shell... Watch it. Hilarious.]
Each day, I woke up feeling worse... but it was just a cold.
ENTER VICIOUS SUPER BACTERIA THAT MADE MY HEAD EXPLODE.
Between my compromised immune system from the cold, and some icky bug, I woke up one morning and noticed my eye was a little swollen. At first I thought maybe it was just sleepy morning eyes from cold-inflicted-not-much-sleep-because-I-couldn't-stop-coughing. I took a shower, got ready for the day and then noticed the swelling was getting worse. (Always a bad sign when you can see the outside of your eyelid when you're not looking in a mirror...) We went to go play games with my family, but by noon, my eye was super swollen.
No, I will not post photos. And I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not I looked like some creepy mix of Quasimodo, a child with a terrible allergy to bee stings who got stung on the eye, Gothmog - Lieutenant of Morgul, and Will Smith in the movie Hitch when he eats shellfish and discovers he's allergic and his face swells up like a balloon. I will neither confirm nor deny.
So, after my brother said, "Shan, I'm worried about your face. You look like a beluga whale," we went to the Instacare.
Now, I've always had great experiences at the Instacare. When I sliced my finger almost right off, when Brans hurt his back so bad and couldn't move - every time we've gone, we have gotten right in and seen a doctor. No more than 5-10 minute waits. Very friendly but professional staff. Like I said - great experiences.
So, I digress - we went to the Instacare. On New Year's Eve. [I should have known better than to get an infection that required a doctor's attention on a holiday. Remind me - never get sick on a holiday again.] We went to the Instacare closest to my parents house, only to find out they had a 3+ hour wait. Uh... I don't think so. So we drove to the place-formerly-known-as-the-Instacare-closest-to-our-house, only to find out they had moved, and the Urgent Care that took it's place didn't accept our insurance. So, frustrated and now in quite a bit of pain, we went to a third location. They told me the wait was about an hour and apologized that I had to wait. So I found a chair in a corner and sat. And sat. And waited. And sat.
Three and a half hours later, the nurse finally read my name. Yes, it was ridiculous. Yes, I was frustrated. And yes, I would have left and just taken a page out of Will Smith's book and stuck a bendy straw in a bottle of Benadryl and drunk myself to sleep... but while sitting in the waiting room, I could feel my eye getting more and more swollen. So I stayed.
The nurse took me back, got my vitals and then the doctor escorted me to an exam room, where he proceeded to verbally examine me, but didn't ever actually touch my face. He asked me some questions, diagnosed me with just a typical skin infection, noting some sores that appeared on my forehead, and recommended I start taking an antibiotic and gave me a prescription for one and some painkillers, (And a note excusing me from work for a few days. You know you look bad when your doctor basically says, "Yeah, I wouldn't want to go to work either if I looked like that.") as well as a shot of antibiotics to get them in my system. They told me to come back the next day to get another shot just to get on top of the infection.
After waiting so patiently with me, Brans took me home, put a heat press on my head, and went to go pick up my prescription. He's such a great caretaker. Later, my family came over for a low-key New Year's Eve celebration. I mostly sat on the couch all night, watching my family play games, alternating a hot rice bag and a pack of ice on my head.
I hurt all over. My head was pounding. I couldn't breathe from my cold. My throat was sore. I couldn't talk. Every time someone would say something funny, I'd laugh, then cough, then choke, then panic, then cough, then cry, then cough some more.
[This happened several times... My family is funny! At one point, my brothers were talking about all of the fictional characters I resembled in my current state, and Brady chimed in and said, "But Shan, you look normal from behind." And for some reason, it was hilarious. But it sent me into a tailspin. Laugh. Cough. Choke. Cough. Cry. Cough. Laugh. Choke. I actually collapsed on the floor, at one point. Totally and completely miserable.]
An hour or two before midnight, I asked for a priesthood blessing. My family gathered round, and with six worthy priesthood holders in the room, my dad and Brans laid their hands on my head and gave me a blessing. I can't tell you how comforting and peaceful I felt during that minute. Surrounded by my family- our testimonies and faith strong, all of them praying for me. Humbling. And so amazing.
I resumed my spot on the couch, and just tried to take it easy. And told my family to stop being funny so I didn't die. Over the next few hours, the swelling started to decrease. I could open my eye, and the pain meds had kicked in, so I didn't hurt as much. When my family left for the night, I was looking very much improved. I opted to sleep on the couch in an upright position - after several nights of coughing fits, neither Brans or myself had slept well. I decided if he could at least sleep, that would be better. So I found a comfy position on the couch, Brans and Alyna tucked me in with about 15 pillows so I could stay upright all night, and I fell asleep. I had a lot of medication in me, and it knocked me right out, and [from what I can remember] slept quite soundly for a good five hour chunk. [Five hours seems like all night when you've only been sleeping for one or two hours at a time for a week.]
When I woke up, the improved decrease of swelling from the night before had returned, and my eye and side of my face was super swollen, but I could still see a little through my right eye. Alyna gave me some more medicine, and I went back to sleep for a few hours. When I woke up the second time, Brans took me back to the Instacare for the second shot. I hoped our wait wouldn't be as long... And when I checked in at the desk, they told me the wait was an hour. "Even though I'm just here for a follow-up shot?" I was told to be patient and find a seat like the other sick people. Dumb.
So we waited ... again... and almost three hours later they called my name. [Becoming disenchanted with the Instacare? Yes.] And yes, the swelling increased while I waited. [Maybe I'm allergic to waiting at the Instacare.] We went back to another exam room, and a new doctor came in shortly after. He asked me some more questions, said I might have to go to the ER, and then said, "Now, I'm going to just examine this little sore on your head. So why don't you lie down-- Husband, do you want to come hold her hand? This is probably going to be pretty painful for her-- Just remember, I'm not trying to hurt you, just trying to make you better."
Famous last words. Ok, not last. But IT HURT. SOOO badly. I felt like he was hitting my head with a metal baseball bat, over and over and over again. Blinding pain. But I'm tough. I have a high tolerance for [most] pain. He picked, and pushed, and squeezed and picked some more. He kept saying, "I'm not trying to hurt you. Are you ok?" I would grit my teeth and whisper a weak, sickly, "mmhm" as he hit me with another bat. He eventually got some sort of something to come out of the sore and took a swab to run a culture to figure out what it was that was infecting me. He apologized for the pain, [Did I mention that in the long wait, all of the pain meds I had taken that morning had worn off? Bad timing.] told me he would run the culture and then call me when the lab results came in. He said if it got any worse, to got directly to the ER, and he left. Not scary at all, thank you Doctor.
I managed to hold in my tears until he left the room, but the second the door shut, I lost it. I cried and cried into Branson's shoulder for five minutes. [He has such good, broad, manly, comfort-you-when-you-cry shoulders.] The nurse came in to give me another shot, and then we went home. Again, I found my spot on the couch, and rested there the rest of the day. I was so weak, I could barely move. My head felt like it was exploding. My lungs were on fire, and every time I coughed I wanted to rip open my rib cage and take my lungs out, because that would probably have hurt less. Brans and Alyna kept me on a schedule with pain meds, making sure I ate something (though it usually was just saltine crackers. Food just wasn't good. And it's hard to chew when, with each single jaw movement, you feel like you're getting smacked with a 2x4.) and just let me nap on and off all day.
Again, the swelling went down. Significantly. And my spirits improved at the end of the night before I went to bed. But, I woke up with a completely swollen shut eye. The worst it had been. I couldn't open it if I tried prying it open with my fingers. So swollen. I didn't want to go back to the Instacare, because they would send me to the ER. But in some ways, I was feeling better. Brans and Alyna had helped me keep heat on the sore all day and night, so it started drawing out the infection. It was icky. But I could tell progress was being made. I still felt miserable, but now it was more manageable miserable, rather than wanting-to-die miserable.
So again, I spent the day on the couch. So boring. [Pretty sure some of my muscles were thinking about atrophy because I had basically not moved other than to go to the bathroom or the Instacare for multiple days.] But so necessary. During the day, the swelling improved. [Sound familiar?] I slept relatively well. And work up the next day still swollen, but not any more than when I went to bed. Still in pain, but I was coughing less, and could almost breathe. Things were looking up.
Same story the next day - swelling improved, feeling a little better, though it didn't look like it. Then, at 9am on Saturday morning, a nurse from the Instacare called me and said, "Hi Shanna, this is Ashley from the Instacare. We got your lab results back, and it looks like you have MRSA. Please stop taking the antibiotic we gave you immediately and we've called in a new one to your pharmacy for you to take instead. The previous one isn't doing you any good. The infection is resistant to the one you've been taking..." I thanked her for calling, and immediately looked up MRSA on my phone.
MRSA is a "super bacteria" that has mutated and become resistant to several antibiotics that once used to treat it. Somewhere, I picked it up. And we think that because my immune system was so weak already with a terrible cold, my body just shut down when the infection started.
[When I told my mom, she was worried. She's heard horror stories of people who've had MRSA - almost dying, extended stays in the hospital, etc. I've heard a few myself. But, I've also heard from some people that it's now just so common that it's not such a big deal anymore. I BEG TO DIFFER. Kind of a big deal to me. Either way, it's not fun. It's miserable. And painful. But I think I was lucky that it infected me like it did, only spending 10 hours at the Instacare, instead of actually putting me in the hospital.]
And then, my family and I remembered the priesthood blessing I'd been given. And how significantly improved I was from that moment. And how my body had been healing itself, since the infection was resistant to the antibiotics I was taking. And our testimonies of the healing power of the priesthood increased just a little. It's not like I was instantly healed, and we witnessed a great miracle. And it might not be obvious to the doctors at the Instacare. But I firmly believe that the best medicine for me that week was the priesthood blessing I received. I was blessed that my body would heal. That I would be strong enough to heal. And I was.
At the risk of spreading the infection, I've completely sanitized my house, and spent this week working from home. But, Brans and Alyna haven't seem to be infected, so I think I'm in the clear. But, I've been quite wary of going into work. People in my building at work are notorious for coming to work with with all manner of diseases. [A guy I work with showed up the day he was diagnosed with Whooping Cough. DIAGNOSED with WHOOPING COUGH, and he came in to work, coughing, and spreading germs. Ridiculous.] So, I've tried to catch up from home. It's nice that a good portion of my job is done through email, so I've been able to be connected, but safe in my sanitized haven. [Confession: I'm a little nervous to go in on Monday. I'm going to have Lysol and hand sanitzer in my pocket.]
It's been a long couple of weeks. I still don't feel 100%. I still feel a little weak. I don't have all of my energy back, and my voice still sounds ridiculous. But I'm healing. And I "look normal from behind" and from the front [Thanks, Brade. Ha ha].
But, we truly wish everyone a very healthy 2013. Ours didn't start so well, but I'm hoping the rest of the year is filled with health and strength, and this is just getting it out of our system. We're hoping for great things this year. And now, health is at the very top of our list.
So, have a very Healthy New Year.
[I've already been sick enough for the rest of us this year.]
