mending

I'm mending. Slowly but surely.

We had dinner at my parents house the other night, and when we walked in the door, Braden said:

Shan! Your face doesn't even look messed up!

I'm choosing to take that as a compliment. (The first go-around with MRSA, he was the one who said: Shan, you look normal from behind! If he weren't such a cute boy and I didn't know he meant well, I'd probably punch him in the throat.)

I bought a new wallet, but I'm mourning my old one. It was the perfect wallet and the perfect shade of green. And it's no longer available for purchase. Sad day. So, instead, I got a yellow one. Hopefully, it's just the right dose of cheery color to compensate.

And I feel like a real person again. I have new bank and insurance cards, a new drivers license, and everything is starting to get back to normal.

I've been advised to take it easy, and not jump back into my normal routine too soon. Everyone is pretty sure that this time around, stress induced MRSA to come back. (Or as Chad calls it, MRSuckiness. Clever boy. And totally appropriate.) Needless to say, I've had a stressful couple of years. And as part of my mending, I'm trying to figure out how to manage that better.

I have a stressful job, and it doesn't ever really slow down.

I'm like my mother, and I like to help as many people as I can
and just don't like to tell people no.

I put a lot of pressure on myself -
I'm a perfectionist, and just hate not giving something my all.

I've also been blessed with many talents, and sometimes I feel like if I don't use them and keep developing them, I'm taking these gifts for granted, and they will be lost. Again, with the perfectionism.

But I'm learning that I can't do everything.

I'm trying to learn how to balance well.

And I'm learning that sometimes I need to let people help me,
instead of always doing the helping.

I'm learning that I can't do everything all the time, as much as I'd like to.

And I'm learning how truly great it is
to have so many people love you and care about you.

And I'm continually amazed at how wonderful my husband is.
He takes such good care of me. He's quite the find, you know.

I've so appreciate prayers and healing thoughts on my behalf.

I feel so supported and so loved by so many. So thank you.

I am feeling better. But still not whole.
I have a constant migraine. And I get tired quickly.
(Confession: I am enjoying having to take my daily nap.
If only there were a way to implement that into my life. For the rest of my days. Hm...)
I have scars on my head from the MRSuck. A constant reminder,
along with the pain I still feel.
But I know they will fade. And I'll be completely better.

So I'm declaring that March is for Mending.

...And college basketball. March Madness is so close. It always makes me so happy.
Go Hoosiers! We're pulling for Indiana to take it all.