recovering

It's been three weeks (about to the minute) since my surgery.

Things went very well. No complications. Everything went smoothly.

And things since the surgery have been...

hard

humbling

but so worth it.

- - - - - - - -

Because they were cutting both of my hands they had to put the IV in my foot. SO very painful. The nurse and doctor that put in the IV were so nice and so apologetic. But man, it hurt so bad.

Before they took me into surgery, the nurse asked to see each of my hands, and then proceeded to write "yes" on each of my wrists. A little while later, my surgeon came in to chat and had to initial my wrists. A pretty simple thing, but I can only imagine all of the lawsuits and problems that come if for some reason they operate on the wrong appendage... Better safe than sorry, I guess. But who'd have thought that writing "yes" on your wrist with a sharpie could solve so many problems?

So they wheeled me into surgery. And I don't remember a thing. They asked me to slide over from the gurney to the operating table, but I don't even recall how my head hit the pillow. I was out. I woke up a few hours later, bandaged like a boxer.

The surgery itself was less than a half hour. But I could immediately feel a difference in pain when I woke up. I hurt from being cut open, but the excruciating pain and numbness from before was gone. Still is. It's amazing how modern medicine has progressed to allow a simple procedure to result in such a complete change in how I feel.

I'm so grateful.

As you can imagine, being wrapped up so much and still in post-surgery pain, I couldn't do anything.

When I say "anything," I mean everything. I couldn't feed myself. I couldn't lift a paper cup to my mouth. I couldn't brush my teeth. Couldn't get hair out of my face. Scratch an itch. Open doors. Shower. Get dressed. Hold a remote. Use my phone. I couldn't even walk down the hall by myself. If you think about all of the things you do with your hands in even one hour... It's amazing how useful hands are. Something I suppose I very much took for granted.

It was frustrating to not be able to do anything for myself. It was humbling to have to ask for help for even the tiniest of things (and some of the not-so-tiny things... like going to the bathroom). It was hard to just sit around all day being waited on. It taught me a lot of patience to rely on someone else to feed me every single bite of food for two weeks. It was faith-building to realize that I can be healed from so much pain. It was overwhelming to know how many people loved me and cared about me.

So many people sent such nice Get Well cards.

So many people brought us dinners.

So many people sent flowers.

So many people called and left sweet messages.

So many people told me they were praying for me.

I'm humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for the love I have seen.

So, thank you. For everything.

- - - - - - - -

About a week and a half after the surgery, they had me come in to change the bandages. So I downsized to gauze and ace bandages - a welcome alternative. The big bulky bandages were thick and sweaty and itchy.

With my hands not as bulky, I was able to start moving my fingers again, but only in small, simple movements. I could hold my toothbrush and move my head back and forth to kinda brush my teeth. I could use one finger to turn on the power button of the tv. But that's about it. After several days, I could hold a plastic fork with a baby bite on it and feed myself. Small things to normal life, but such great accomplishments for me.

And last week, they finally took the stitches out.

I have a pretty strong stomach and don't usually get woozy or pass out, but I came super close to it when they took the stitches out. My hands hurt just being in the open air. The wounds were still sore and tender and the stitches were so close to my skin that they had to pull it really tight to be able to cut the stitches.

It hurt. But I'm tough. I winced through the first few stitches, but started to get clammy and dizzy when I could feel the stitches being pulled over the wound and then under my skin. It was freaky. But I survived. (Barely.)

- - - - - - - -

Now, I'm on the mend. I'm still slow at any hand movements. But I feel stronger everyday.

I can:

type, though very, very slowly

cut my own food

turn door handles

almost play an octave on the piano

brush my hair

... so many things.

My hands are still tender. A little swollen. And if I try to do too many things they ache.

But I'm being healed.

And it's an incredible feeling.