tears for nienie

last night, for the first time in probably three years, i wept.

i cried, uncontrollably. for hours.

i had just finished piano lessons. branson was off to scouts. so i decided i would spend my solitary time catching up on the nienie story. i've been overcome with interest in what is happening and learning more about stephanie nielson and her adorable family. nienie has been a blogging inspiration to the world. i can't even imagine how her family feels - so overcome with the love and support people have for their family. i, myself, am overcome with love and support for this family. my heart goes out to them, and many a prayer has passed my lips in their behalf.

mindy gledhill held a benefit concert the past weekend to help raise money for the nielsons, as well as for the family of the pilot of the small plane that crashed, leaving many devastated, humbled, and hopeful. my good friend and co-worker, krista flew down to help with the concert - which, might i report, was a huge success. though i was not there myself, there was a moment i felt like i was.

my kitchen was dark, only the light from the laptop filled the room. i was searching for an update on nienie's condition, reading news articles, various blogs, and nienie's sister's blog: c jane. i came acrossed her post about the concert and found myself frantically clicking the link to mindy singing "golden slumbers". it wasn't loading fast enough.

but what my eyes beheld caught me completely off guard.

golden slumbers

stephanie's two daughters sang with mindy - the song stephanie had sung to them all their lives. it started off sweet and heartwrenching. a tear formed as these two little angels began to sing. 'once there was a way...' the tear rolled down my cheek.

'sleep pretty baby, do not cry'. claire and jane were holding hands so tightly. and i was overwhelmed by my emotions. these sweet girls' mother was sleeping - a medically enduced coma for ten weeks while skin grafts and surgeries took place. tears flooded my eyes. my glasses fogged up. but i had to see more. the song wasn't over. i did not want to miss a single note, a single blink.

golden slumbers fill your eyes

smiles awake you when you rise
sleep pretty darling, do not cry
and i will sing a lullabye

at this point i was no longer crying. i was weeping. sobbing even. my emotions took over completely.

the song ended and i needed more. its an addition, really. i want, i need to know. i went back to c jane's blog and scrolled up to the top, to the most recent posts. as if my wish were granted, an update had been posted on stephanie's condition. "out of the woods" is how c jane described it. smiles will awake her when she rises. the grafts were taking. no infections. no organ damages as should have been expected. i read in an article of an interview of one of the doctors who couldn't deny that something special was happening with this beautiful girl, covered in white bandages.

i cried tears of gratitude for the divine power blessing this little family. tears came for the family members and friends who were feeling directly, the hand of God in their lives. tears of humility graced my cheeks as i realized how blessed i truly am. i cried for the baby nicholas who will never quite remember his mother's beautifully freckled face as it once was. tears of frustration fell on my shoulders as i thought about the struggle and long road ahead for the nielsons. but simultaneous rejoicing tears flew from my eyes as i thought about the challenges already overcome for them. as well as the thanksgiving and christmas and birthdays and balloon releasings that will take place for them in the near future.

the tears didn't stop coming for hours. i'm pretty sure i cried myself to sleep.

i know things happen for different reasons, and dare i say this outloud. but i have a feeling this was to strengthen and unite the world, not just the nielsons family. nienie was world famous before all this from her blog. its simple to see what she is all about. she is a beautiful woman who loves life. who delights in wearing red lipstick and dressing up for the love of her life. who would rather stay home and make cookies with her kids all day than send them off to school. who stood firm in her convictions and wasn't afraid to share a testimony. stephanie nielson exemplifies the divine roll of women. and i know i'm not alone in thinking that it is inspiring.

i am inspired and enlighted by nienie. she is a shining example to me. i cry out in compassion for her. she has changed me, along with many others in this world, for the better.

i can't wait until the day when she is reunited with her perfect body - what a glorious resurrection that will be! i hope i can be there for that.

but in the meantime, my prayers will not cease. and my love with grow.

and i will cry.

tears of sadness.

tears of joy.

tears of hope.

but mostly,

tears of gratitude.