dwight*

as i begin this story, i realize very few will truly appreciate it... but who cares. its too good not to share!


so i got to work this morning, and as usual, first logged into my computer to check emails, and listened to any voicemails left for me overnight. and, also as usual, i had a message waiting for me from a truly special person.


in a monotone, sound-like-your-holding-back-tears voice, i hear:

"hi, this is [dwight*] (*name changed - but really for no reason other than i have a kind heart, seeing as how the poor guy doesn't have a computer... see below.) i sent in a demo album before i went out of the country and i haven't heard back yet. i sent it over a month ago and wondered when i could come meet with the representative of deseret book so that we can start working on my album. if you could call me back so i can come down that would be good..."


i erased the message before i could hear his number. this guy, dwight, has left me a message saying the same thing everyday for the past 8 days. not just like 2 or 3 days - e i g h t d a y s. ridiculous. but you gotta hand it to the guy for being persistant.


i did a little reseach, and found out that he had sent in multiple demos over the past year, all of which were not very good, and definitely not something that deseret book is interested - or ever will be interested. i also found out that each time he had submitted something, he HAD been sent a letter. overall, he has been sent 5. 5 letters saying that deseret book wasn't interested in his submission. so dwight lied to me. lame. so i decided it wasn't pressing to get back to him, seeing as how he a) called me everyday, and b) already received several rejection letters.


i was typing an email to a coworker, and my phone rang. my first mistake: not looking at the number. dumb move, shan. dumb. i answered the phone: "deseret book, this is shanna..." and heard a familiar voice.


"hi, this is dwight. i sent in a demo before i went out of the country and i haven't heard back yet. i sent it over a month ago and wondered when i could come meet with the representative of deseret book so that we can start working on my album. if you could call me back so i can come down that would be good..." (and yes, he said the exact same words he had said in all of the messages he had left me.)


i stopped him there. "you know, the people in the music department are very busy and don't usually schedule appointments like that, but you should have received a letter from us telling you that we have received your demo. are you sure you never received a letter?"


"well, i don't have a computer. so i need to come in and meet with the director so that we can finish my album and so i can make money."

"you know, our director doesn't make appointments like that. i'm sorry..."

"well, i'm a musician and an artist and i need to work and make money..."

"i understa-"

"my wife just bought an apartment out of the country and we're married and we need money..."

"ok, but i don't know how we ca-"

"so i just need to come and finish my album with you guys so we can have money to pay rent."

" i'm sorry, but that's not really how it works. we only work with our artists and our schedule is pretty full until the end of the year. but i can find your album and see-"

''i don't have a computer..."

"what?"

"i need to finish this album so that maybe i can have enough money to buy a computer. so you can't email me."


seriously, this guy was all over the place. i was going crazy! but i tried to be as nice and undertanding as i could. but when someone on the phone tells you the exact same thing over and over for 20 minutes, and you keep telling him tha same thing over and over, trying to make him understand that you can't help him how he wants... you start to go a little crayz. finally, i got him off the phone. i told him to just wait for a letter i was going to send him in the mail, and to expect it in about a week or so. the click on his end of the phone was a joyful sound to my soul.


background: in june, dwight brought in a green and gold chalice, which was loving referred to 'the goblet of fire' afterwards, and wanted to personally deliever it to the music director - he was stopped in the lobby, thank heaven. it was filled with peanut butter m&ms. good way to bribe a record label to listen to your stuff? well, maybe in another circumstance, but they were not in a package and were sitting is this gross green thing that had to have been bought at d.i. in like the 70s. and who knows who's gross, germ-ridden, sweaty hands had put the m&ms in the chalice. sick. we all know how i hate germs... and stitting in the middle of the m&ms was a cd, covered in star stickers and the primary stickers of jesus. weird... anyway, most of the building either heard about it or saw it themselves. so it kind of became a joke for most of the office - just something someone would bring up every couple of weeks for a good laugh. poor guy. truth be told, half of the office thought it was a joke, and for dwight's sake, i kind of hoped it was.


so after my conversation with dwight ended, i ran downstairs to tell my friend heidi, who was working at the front desk in the lobby, about it. i began my story, told her the gist of it, and we both started laughing. we both felt sort of bad for the guy. he just couldn't take a hint. or 5. he was just convinced that all he needed to do to make money from his album was to come in and meet with the music department! oh man, that is SO not even close to how the process works. particularly for something that wouldn't sell at all! even really, really great albums sometimes don't make the cut.

so as our laughter died down, a man walked through the door and heidi asked him how she could help him.


"i just talked to shanna in music and i need to meet with her..." we recognized the voice immediately. the sad, monotonous tone- it was dwight!!! we couldn't believe it! it was so surreal. and thanks to heidi's poker face, we barely got through it.


heidi said, avoiding looking at me all together and pretending i wasn't standing right next to her, "do you have an appointment? because unless you have an appointment, i can't let you up to see her."


"well, i just talked to her and..."


"you could try calling her again and setting up an appointment..."


"well i just need to see her so can you call her and tell her to come down?"


"i'm sorry i just can't do that. she's really busy... everyone in the music department is really busy. but you can call her later and set up an appointment with her..."


he whipped out his cell phone and called right then! while i was standing right in front of him, trying so hard not to laugh! it was so hard! heidi and i both were dying - laughing hysterically on the inside. i had to leave. i couldn't not laugh outloud. so i whispered to heidi that i would be back later, and hopped on the elevator as fast as i could. i waited until i was 5 floors up, and let out a huge burst of laughter! and i couldn't stop laughing!

i couldn't believe that had just happened to me! it was so, so, SO surreal! who does that happen to? seriously... too funny. so for the rest of the day, a group of us would just look at each other or pass each other in the halls and just giggle.

what a fantastic day. my first crazy experience in the music department. awesome.

*upon reflection, i hope this story doesn't make me sound mean. the guy is basically stalking our department and everyone at work thinks he's crazy. not just like a guy who got rejected and wants another shot. crazy like some screw is loose, or a wire isn't attached in his brain crazy. and truth be told, i do kinda pity the guy. i hope he finds some other road to travel down, because this one - the lds musician road isn't going to lead him anywhere. it would only be full of heartache and disappointment for him. poor dwight.