fraud

To the persons East of the Mississippi who stole all our money,

Stop it. Please.

Had you taken our money because you had none and were in desperate need of food and shelter for your family, I *might* have been more understanding. Had you been a beggar on the street who just happened to come across our savings in a delightfully labeled envelope that said "Please Take, and Spend Freely," I also would have understood.

But you aren't and you didn't.

How do I know?

Well because, dear thief, I monitor my checking account quite regularly. And what you might not know is that I can see everywhere that you spent my money, and other places you tired to spend at, too. Maybe you *needed* to spend $300 at WalMart to buy new school clothes and diapers for your unfortunate children who call a thief "mom" or "dad"... or for your girlfriend who thinks that $300 worth of jewelry and makeup from WalMart will make her feel better about having a stealing loser for a boyfriend...

But I am absolutely positive you did not *need* anything that cost $700 at the T-Mobile store.

Oh, don't worry. I'm gonna get it all back.

You see, my bank is pretty good to me and has great fraud protection, and has guaranteed that I'll get my money back.

Also, I believe that actions have consequences - and you will pay. Just like we all do when we do something wrong.

But more importantly, I pay a faithful tithe and I know that God will take care of us. I have a very strong testimony in the principal of Tithing and how it blesses us when we obey.

Now, it may sound like I'm holding a grudge and that I haven't forgiven you. Do not be deceived. My heart was hardened, but has since been made soft.

I forgive you.

You obviously weren't raised in truth and righteousness - otherwise you would have known that stealing is wrong. You also probably didn't know that we aren't rich, and that your access to our limited funds wouldn't get you very far, and that your spending spree would only last a few hours.

So, while you GREATLY inconvenienced us (seriously, folks - stealing someone's money at the end of a month, when bills are due, and it's a holiday weekend... could not be worse timing.) and made me more furious than I have been in a long time, I've decided to forgive you and move on.

Just don't ever do it again.

Sincerely,
Greatly-Inconvenienced-But-Trying-to-Be-More-Christlike
in Salt Lake City