shan & brans

twelve things

2012-01-24T15:29:00.003-07:00

one.
Today, my sister Brindy turns twelve. 12! I can hardly believe it. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. It really makes me feel old that she's now officially in Young Women. How did this happen? It seems like she's still 8 years old to me. But I have loved watching her grow, and am delighted at the young women she is becoming. She is so incredibly sweet and caring. And so very beautiful. I love her. Happy Birthday, Brin!

two.
As always, my life at work has been busy. In the past year, we've hired on more people, which should have lightened the load. But, it seems that the more people we get, more is expected of us. While I like the people I work with and the projects I work on, the stress level has started to wear on me. I need to be better at finding a balance.

three.
It's amazing how routine our lives are. This month, Brans and I have fallen back into our work, school, piano lessons, scouts, dinner, sleep, repeat way of life. While I love the predictability, I think a little piece of me is ready for some sort of adventure. Something to shake things up. Any good ideas?

four.
I miss my brothers. At school, on missions... I miss them. They are such good kids. And we have so much fun together.

five.
My hair is the same length it was in high school (record long). I've been contemplating what to do with it, but just can't bring myself to cut it. I think I'll regret it. But, the standby ponytail, braid and leaving it straight have become super boring. I need new cute dos that don't take much time.

six.
The other night, Brans made me watch "Warrior" - it's a movie about fighting, you know, for sport. I'm not a big fan of fighting or boxing, or other "sports" that involve two men in a ring hitting each other, so I was skeptical about this movie. But holy. cow. I loved it. It was surprising fantastic. I may or may not have cried towards the end. Moving story. I highly recommend it.

seven.
I have yet to join the Pinterest band wagon. Everyone keeps talking about it and I keep seeing people post about it all the time, but I just don't have the time. And I'm afraid I'll become obsessed and addicted.

eight.
It's been about four and a half months since my Carpal Tunnel Surgery. I feel pretty good about it still. I would say percentage-wise, I'm at 90%, though I feel like I've been at 90% since November. It has just taken a while for my strength to return. There's not really any more pain. And my scars are fading. And I haven't broken or dropped a single glass! But I still feel weak. But it's coming back. Slowly and surely.

nine.
A project I worked on at my job was recently nominated for a Grammy. Pretty cool, huh? It's actually really cool. And a really, really big deal. I was invited to attend the Grammy's, and while it would be awesome, we just can't afford it. But I feel super honored to even be invited. Add that to my resume: help produce and release a Grammy-nominated album. Check.

ten.
I have found myself missing that traditional Utah winter lately. We've hardly had any snow this season, much to my dismay. I love winter. I love the white blanket that covers the hibernating green. It just hasn't really come yet. The few - very few - times it has actually snowed at our house, the longest it has stuck around was a day or two, and then back to the dreary grey/brown. No thank you. I want snow. A big, heavy, beautiful white blanket of snow. But it needs to hurry, because I only tolerate snow until February 20.

eleven.
One of my favorite things lately has been recreating my journal. I used to be a write daily or at least once a week journal writer before Branson and I met. Upon our meeting, I still tried to document events, but my recordings became fewer and far between. (I blame him. He took up all of my time.) And since we've been married, I've been a total slacker. I have things written on sticky notes, and emailed to myself, but not everything in one place. So I've made it a goal to compile all of those little notes into a real life journal. It has been fun reflecting on things that happened to me so many years ago.

twelve.
My goals for 2012 all center around being better. While I feel like I've already let a few slip, there are others that I feel I'm excelling at. Even though goals and resolutions seem to fade through out the year, I really do love the fresh start to each year, and the opportunity to really focus on how we can improve over the next twelve months. Here's hoping this year's goals stay in focus all year long.

christmas recap

2012-01-02T11:58:00.003-07:00

Can you guess where we were for Christmas?

I'll give you a few clues:

We were lucky enough to spend Christmas

in Southern California

with Branson's family.

We spent 3 days at Disneyland.

Yes. Three. Days.

I can't really express how fun it was.

It was magical.

We also spend a day at Lego Land

and visited the Hotel Del on Coronado

and Balboa Park.

We had a blast and are so thankful

for the generosity and hospitality of

the Larsons.

[Thank you!]

We had a very merry Christmas, indeed.

new

2012-01-01T23:40:00.001-07:00

I'm having a hard time believing it's 2012...

[It seems like it just barely rolled over to 2000,

and it was such a big ordeal to start dating things

20xx instead of 19xx. Weird.]

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of fun for us.

[More on that soon, I promise.]

And we're so grateful for

all of the goodness in our lives.

We are so very blessed.

2011 was good and hard.

We cut our income in half and

Brans went back to school full time.

He also made the Deans list a few times,

and this past semester pulled a 4.0.

Yes, I am a very proud wife.

We celebrated three years of marriage.

And each year just gets better than the last.

We got chickens.

We have named each of them.

[Pepper, Sophie, Sulley, Buttercup, Dora,

Hedwig, Archimedes,Ruby, Rocky II, Rosie, Tina,

Kelloggs and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named]

Yes, we can both keep them straight.

And we're getting about 10 eggs every day.

[Do you need some? Please?]

We got caught up in Jimmer-Mania this year,

watching every BYU basketball game,

and loving every minute.

And, just a couple months ago,

we met Jimmer.

I helped at a photo shoot we did with him

for a work project.

I may have tied his tie.

[Double Windsor, of course.]

And I may have sat ridiculously

close to him on a couch.

[Don't worry. Brans was there, too.]

It was awesome.

We spent a month [and by 'we' I mean "me']

depending on Brans and my mom to take care of me

while I recovered from Carpal Tunnel surgery.

Feeding. Dressing. Other -ings.

It was hard.

And I was, and still feel, humbled.

But now my hands are doing very well.

90%, I'd say. It's amazing.

We bought a new car.

The first "our" car of our marriage.

Brans was heavily involved in Scouts.

I worked a lot. A lot.

We've been reflecting and resolving and,

while we're grateful for the past year;

for the good times and bad,

for the trials and blessings...

We're ready for a new year.

I'm sure 2012 has new adventures in store for us.

And, while I could list off all of the goals

I'd like to accomplish in the next 365 days,

I'd rather just tell you this:

I'm going to be better in 2012.

In as many ways as I possibly can.

May this upcoming year bring

more laughter, many memories,

and so much love.

Happy New Year.

christmas

2011-12-16T20:25:00.006-07:00

It's Christmas at our house.

Our tree is up.

The decorations are hung.

Presents are wrapped.

And our home feels cozy...

(despite the thermostat being stuck at 60 degrees)

I love this time of year.

The festivities.

The food.

The family time.

But most of all,

I love celebrating the birth

of my Savior.

Joy to the World

the Lord is come

Let earth receive her King

Because that's what it's really all about.

Merry Christmas.

May you have a season filled with

joy

and laughter

and so much love.

But more than that,

may the true meaning and spirit of Christmas

be in the forefront of your holiday,

with an unyielding focus on the root of it all:

Christ.

my husband

2011-11-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

I am so very thankful for Branson.

I'm quite a lucky girl.

I am thankful for Branson's laugh. It is hysterical. I love hearing it. I am grateful that I married someone funny. Laughter is so important to me, and I'm glad that my husband feels the same. He is always trying [and succeeding] to make me laugh.

I am grateful that he is a hard worker. Work ethic is a deal breaker for me, and I'm glad I've never had to question Branson's. He always pitched in. He cleans the bathroom. He does the dishes. He takes out the trash. He fixes our house. He built the chicken coop. He takes jobs seriously. He works hard, and I'm so thankful that we can work together - on little projects at home, remodeling our house, and, most importantly, in life. We work together in our marriage, in our family... in everything.

I am thankful that he studies so hard in school. The transition from two incomes to one [plus school expenses] has been a hard adjustment, but knowing that Brans is working hard in school, makes it worth it. He made the Dean's List. He's getting a 4.0 this semester. He aces his tests and essays. I love hearing him talk about what he learned, or about when he's the only one in his class that knows the answer to a question. I'm so proud of him and so pleased with the work he's doing and what he's learning.

I am thankful for the glimpses I get of how great of a dad he'll be someday. I love watching him interact with my siblings, with our niece and nephews, with neighborhood kids, with cousins. He's going to be a fantastic father someday. [No, this is not an announcement.]

I am thankful for our conversations. I love talking to him. I love hearing about his day. I love when he asks me about mine. Brans is super smart, and I am grateful for the intelligent conversations that we have. We talk about Politics. The Gospel. History. Sports. He just knows so much about so many different things. He's always saying, "did you know that..." and stating some obscure fact that I would never have even thought about before. I am so grateful that we can talk to each other, and that there's always something to say.

I am grateful for his strength. Branson is strong in so many ways. Physically. Spiritually. Mentally. Emotionally. He is just so strong. And I'm thankful for the inspiration that strength is to me. He brings me up. He makes me stronger.

I am thankful for his patience. I am thankful that he puts up with my quirks. My likes. My dislikes. My routines. He is pretty accommodating to me. He waits for me. He [sometimes] laughs at my not-funny jokes. He lets me do things the way I want to, even if they don't make sense. I am so grateful that he puts up with me.

I am grateful for the way he shows his affection for me. He's not overly-affectionate. Particularly in public. Which I am SO thankful for. But he lets me know he loves me each and every day. In little and big ways. I am thankful that he holds my hand. I am thankful that he loves to snuggle. That he kisses me every day. I am thankful for each time he tells me he loves me - both in word and in deed.

I am thankful that Brans is a worthy priesthood holder. I am thankful for the sweet blessings he's given me. For the little vial of oil he keeps on his key chain. For the memories and stories he shares from his mission. Watching him fulfill his callings. I am thankful that we pray together. I am thankful that we were married and sealed in the temple. I am so thankful that we share the same values and beliefs. I am so thankful for the priesthood he holds. I am so thankful that I get to see him exercise the power he holds. He's such a good, good man.

I am so thankful for Branson.

He truly completes me.

He makes me better.

I am so grateful for a wonderful, loving husband.

And for everything he does for me.

parents

2011-11-29T13:09:00.006-07:00

I am grateful for goodly parents.

And mine are the goodly-est. There is no sweeter, kinder, angelic woman in the world than my mom. And there is no harder-working, dedicated, righteous man in the world than my daddy.

I am thankful for my mom. She really is the best. All I ever needed to know I learned from my mother. She taught me everything good. And like the stripling warriors in the Book of Mormon, I do not doubt, because my mother knows. She taught me right from wrong. To avoid even the appearance of evil. To love. To laugh. To learn. To smile. To sing. To work first, and then play. To do my best. To serve. To give. To teach. To help. To never give up. My mom is amazing. I am so grateful for everything she has done for me. I am thankful for the memories I share with her. And I am so grateful that I am her oldest child and first daughter. We share a bond that I am truly thankful for each and every day. I am thankful for my mom.

I am grateful for my dad. He is the greatest man I know. I learned a lot from him, too. That he can fix just about anything. The value of hard work, even when it doesn't seem worth it. How to braid my hair. A love for words. That it's ok to cry. Dedication. Loyalty. How to jump start a car. How to tie a tie. [I've taught more boys how to tie their own ties that you can imagine. And I may or may not have tied Jimmer's tie for him. More on that later.] How to plan a wedding. How to bear a simple, yet powerful testimony. To be reverent. The importance of young men serving missions. That your word should be your bond - and when you say you'll do something, nothing should stop you from getting it done. The responsibilities of a worthy priesthood holder. How a husband should treat his wife. To work harder than you think you can to take care of the people you love. So very many lessons. My dad is the greatest. He is exactly what a father should be. I am so grateful that he is mine. I am thankful for the example he sets and for the memories I have with him. I am thankful that he still lets me be his little girl. I'm so thankful for my dad.

I am grateful that my parents raised me. It seems like there are so many children now whose parents are less parent and more friend/chauffeur/bank. And while I am grateful that my parents were those other things to me to, I am thankful that they were so involved in my upbringing. I am thankful that they punished me when I was disobedient. I am grateful that they encouraged me to try my best and were disappointed when I didn't. I am thankful that they were so involved in my life. That my mom waited up for me every night, even when I came home way too late. That my dad cared so much about who I dated. That my parents loved me enough to discipline me and help me learn right from wrong. I hope that when I have children of my own, that I will be able to be even half as good to them as my parents were to me.

I am also grateful for my in-law parents. I am so blessed to have married into a incredible family. When Brans and I got engaged, his family welcomed me as their own and made me feel so loved, even though they hardly knew me. Over the past [almost] four years, my love and appreciation for Branson's parents has just increased exponentially. And while no one can ever equal my parents, Harold and Shannon are a close second.

Shannon is one of the strongest, most talented women I have ever met. She is so thoughtful and giving. It seems like each time I talk to her, she's involved in some sort of project to help someone else. She is such a great example to me. Last year when she was diagnosed with cancer, I was devastated. I think I cried for 3 weeks straight. But her attitude and drive to get through it was inspiring. She was always so positive about everything. She just knew everything would be ok. And it was. I am so grateful for her strength. For her faith. For her example. From the moment we met, Shannon and I got along wonderfully. She treated me like I was her daughter. I'm so grateful for the friendship we've developed and that she has become another mother to me. [My "San Diego Mom" as she likes to say.]

Harold is one of the most pleasant, even-tempered men I know. He reminds me a lot of my dad. He is a hard worker. He's very involved in the Church and in his callings. He's joyful. Thoughtful. Loyal. He likes to tease, but never mean-spirited. He has a funny sense of humor, and like my dad, when he laughs, his shoulders just shake and you see his laughter instead of hear it. I love it. Harold is sweet and kind. I'll never forget the first moment we shared after he officially became my father-in-law. Brans and I had just been married and sealed in the Temple, and Harold came over to us and gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear that he loved me. I remember that moment so fondly. It was so simple. So sweet. It will always be one of my favorite memories of him. I am so grateful for Harold. I'm so grateful for the righteous example he set for his sons. I know that Brans grew up just trying to be like his dad. I'm thankful that he had someone like Harold to model after.

I am so grateful for our parents. They really are the best.

I'm grateful for the lessons they taught.

For the wonderful lives they've provided us with.

For just being there.

And for the love they have for us.

I'm so grateful for each of them.

music

2011-11-28T11:02:00.005-07:00

I am thankful for music.

My life has always revolved around music.

As a little girl, I would play outside and make up songs, singing while I twirled, or on a swing, or even just laying in the grass.

When I turned 5, I started piano lessons. I easily learned how to read music, and have been sight-reading ever since.

I played the violin for a year, and the flute after that.

In 7th grade, my accompanying career began, when I was recruited by the music teacher, Mr. Ulmer to accompany Mixed Chorus, an elite group of 9th graders. [Yes. This did make me feel super cool.] I can't even count how many times I've accompanied a choir or a soloist, or a quartet, or... the list goes on for ever. I am thankful for Matt Ulmer and the foresight he had to give a 13 year old girl a chance to grow and develop a talent. I learned so much during the three years I accompanied his choirs.

I was called as the Ward Organist when I was 13, taught myself to play, and have enjoyed the calling ever since. It's strange to think it's been over ten years since then...

My sophmore year in high school, the jr. high hired me to play the piano in the orchestra pit for the school musical, Les Miserables. They paid me $800 dollars. I remember Gramps thought this was the most amazing thing. It made my heart soar to hear him brag to the rest of the family that the school was paying me, his granddaughter, to play the piano. A few years later, the high school hired me to play for Beauty and the Beast. I am grateful for these opportunities and remember them fondly.

I started teaching piano lessons as a junior in high school.

I aced the AP Music Theroy test my senior year of high school.

I memorized Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin.

I played musical numbers for several General Authorities and local Dignitaries.

I wrote, arranged and recorded two-CDs worth of piano solos.

I received a music scholarship to BYU and spend my freshman year of college working on credits for a piano performance major.

Then my life took a little turn and I got Carpal Tunnel. Parts of me were devastated, but my love for music remained. I rationed my practicing and no longer played through the pain, but continued to deepen my knowledge and appreciation for music.

And now, I work in the music industry. Really, there isn't a more perfect job for me.

So many of my memories are associated with music. Choir Festivals and Tours. The songs I've accompanied. The friends I made. The lessons I learned. And I am so grateful for each of those memories.

But mostly, I'm thankful for the love of music instilled in my soul from my parents. My favorite memories with my family revolve around music.

Mom singing me to sleep as a child.

Riding in the back of the car, changing the words to "Open Arms" with Austin to be about a skier with Broken Arms.

Family musical numbers in church.

The low rumble of my dad's deep voice when he sings.

Singing "Armies of Helaman" at Taylor's missionary farewell.

Switching alto and tenor parts with Bryson.

Belting out Ben Folds songs with Brindy.

Playing Christmas duets with my brothers.

... so, so, so many more.

Music is sacred to me.

Music says things that words can't.

Music expresses emotions that would otherwise be locked away.

Music is the food of my soul.

I am so grateful for music and for the influence it has had on my life.

I am so full of thanks for a mother who never let me quit piano lessons. Who passed her love for music on to me. Who encouraged me. Who sang to me. Who loved the music I played.

I am thankful for the sweetness music provides, and for the spiritual journey it creates for me. Nothing invites the spirit like music. Nothing.

I am so thankful for music.

the gospel

2011-11-27T22:39:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am thankful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am grateful to be called a "Mormon." I am thankful that I have a deep rooted knowledge of the love God has for each of His children. I am thankful that, in a world that grows increasingly darker every day, that the Gospel provides a light and illuminates my way.

I am grateful for living prophets. I have been blessed to meet many prophets, seers, and revelators in my life, and each experience is still fresh in my mind, as sweet as the day it happened.

President Gordon B. Hinckley told me my smile would be a wonderful missionary tool. Elder Richard G. Scott shed tears during a piano arrangement I did of "I Am a Child of God" and said that hearts would be turned through the music I created. President Howard W. Hunter shook my hand a month after he was called as Prophet. President Thomas S. Monson gave me a Kit-Kat on Halloween. I've shaken hands with Elders Joseph B. Wirthlin, Russell M. Nelson, David B. Haight, L. Tom Perry, and President Henry B. Eyring. I know these men were called by God. I've heard their testimonies and have felt their spirits. I am so grateful for our prophets.

I am thankful for Joseph Smith. I am thankful that he, as a fourteen year old boy, asked questions. I am grateful that he didn't let fear of the unknown get the best of him. I am grateful that he knelt in a grove of trees and spoke to God. I am so thankful that he never gave up. I am grateful for his courage. I love Joseph and am so, so glad that he translated the Book of Mormon and helped usher in the Restoration.

I am thankful for the scriptures. I am grateful for the Old and New Testaments. The Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price. The Book of Mormon. I love feasting on scripture. It amazes me that each time I read, I learn something new. I am grateful that so many prophets kept a record. I am grateful that those records were compiled and made readily available. I love the scriptures.

I am grateful for the cleansing ordinance of the Sacrament. I am so thankful that each Sabbath day I can partake of the Sacrament and renew my baptismal covenants with the Lord and once again, be cleansed of my sins. I am thankful for the symbolism of the Sacrament and the lessons I learn from it weekly.

I am beyond thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows where I am and what I'm doing. I feel my Father's love for me in everything. God's love is evident all around us. In the beauty of the Earth. In the favorable circumstances we find ourselves in. In the trials and challenges that make us stronger. In the little "coincidences" that you know aren't just circumstance. I am eternally grateful for God and all that He has blessed me with.

I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He has done so very much for me. For each of us. Words aren't adequate to say how thankful I am that He atoned for me. That He bled from each and every pore for MY sins. That He was crucified so that I could return and live with God again someday. Jesus Christ is my Savior. He is more to me than a prophet. More than just a man who lived two thousand years ago. More than my friend. More than my brother. He is my Lord. My Savior. My Redeemer. I am thankful beyond thankful for Him.

I am grateful for my knowledge of the Gospel. I am thankful for the influence the teachings of the Gospel have had on my life.

The Gospel makes me a better person. It helps me be kinder, more compassionate. It gives me understanding and perspective. It helps me strive to be more Christlike. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is my key to happiness. And I am so thankful for the happiness it brings to me.

mountains

2011-11-26T21:27:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for mountains and their majestic beauty.

Yesterday, Brans and I went up into the High Uintah Mountains and cut down our Christmas tree. [Our tree is perfect. Just enough branches. Perfectly shaped boughs. The fresh smell of pine... everything is magnificent.] While driving to find our tree, I was simply soaking it all in. The fresh air. The wildlife. The forests. The meadows. The creeks. The rocks.

The beauty God created in mountains never ceases to amaze me.

They are so grand. They are so massive. They are so detailed. They truly are gorgeous.

I have always lived near mountains. They taught me which direction is north. They gave me a landmark. They formed the lovely valley which I call my home. I could pick out the silhouette of the Wasatch and Oquirrh ranges anywhere. I am so grateful I get to see them everyday.

The view from our bedroom is a straight-shot of Mount Olympus. It is my mountain. Its the peak my high school was named after. I've hiked to its top. And I wake and fall asleep to its majestic beauty every day.

I am so thankful God created such a beautiful terrain for us to live on and enjoy.

But I am especially thankful for the mountains. They are my home. And I am grateful that I have been blessed to live in such wonderful place.

sleep

2011-11-25T22:43:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for sleep.

For it's rejuvenating powers. For being the perfect remedy. For the comfort it provides.

While I was in high school, I hardly ever slept. If I got 1-2 hours of sleep per night, it was an accomplishment. But then a few years after I graduated, something clicked and I started sleeping again. And I have not taken advantage of it since.

I love sleeping. I'm grateful that each night I can cuddle up in my big comfy bed and sleep, waking refreshed and ready for the day ahead of me.

I am thankful that we can recharge every night through sleep.

thanksgiving

2011-11-24T19:15:00.001-07:00

I am grateful for Thanksgiving.

I love everything about it.

I am thankful that it brings families together.

I am thankful for the delicious food.

I am thankful for the annual football games.

I am grateful for turkey.

I am grateful for pies.

But most of all, I am grateful that Thanksgiving is all about being thankful.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It always has been. But lately, lots of people have wondered why. "Favorite? Even more than Christmas? "

Yes, even more than Christmas.

The attitude and sentiment around Thanksgiving is so different from every other holiday. People seem nicer and more cheerful. It isn't about presents. It isn't about surprises. It isn't even about making the most fantastic meal of the year.

Its about spending time with those you love and outwardly expressing your gratitude for them.

I am grateful for the ability to be grateful. I am thankful I was raised to say 'thank you' and mean it. I am grateful that God has so abundantly blessed me and the people I love.

Life is so wonderful.

I am so thankful.

brothers

2011-11-23T18:39:00.003-07:00

I am so thankful for brothers.

I have a lot of them. And each of them is different, and so uniquely wonderful.

Growing up with five brothers very much shaped who I am. I am thankful for the influence and the example I got from my brothers. I love each of them more than words can express.

I am grateful for Austin. I have so many memories of when Austin and I were growing up. We would wrestle together, sing together, build Legos together. We had so much fun. I love Austin's super strong desire to always do the right thing. He is so service-oriented in everything he does, which is a quality I so admire. Austin is competitive and smart and goofy and talented. He is an awesome musician. He's a great cook and is just an all-around wonderful guy. I'm so thankful for him.

I am grateful for Taylor. No one in my life can make me laugh harder than Taylor can. He is hysterically humorous. Every time I think about Taylor, some memory floods my mind and makes me laugh right out loud. Taylor is one of those guys that life just comes easy to. He easily makes friends. He had a 4.0 gpa all throughout high school. Girls just flock to him. Taylor is charismatic and sweet and humble and ... did I mention funny? I love Taylor and am so grateful that he is my brother.

I am thankful for Bryson. Of all my brothers, Bryson and I are the most similar. We have the same temperament. The same sense of humor. We have so many of the same interests. Bryson is just a stud of a man. He is very smart. He is a super hard worker. I could listen to him sing all day long. I have loved watching him grow up and am so grateful for the friendship we've developed as he's grown older. I feel so honored that he asks me for advice. Bryson is talented and intelligent and passionate and awesome. I'm so thankful for him.

I am thankful for Tanner. I say this all the time, but Tanner is just so cool. He really is. He's super handsome and tall and athletic. Tanner used to be so shy and reserved and over the past few years, he's just come out of his shell and turned into this energetic, cool, talented kid. I love to tease him, but really, I think he's so smart and I'm amazed every day at how awesome he is. His voice is like an angel. He's good at anything he tries. Tanner is strong and helpful and clever and so, so cool. I'm very grateful that he's in my family.

I am grateful for Braden. Being the youngest brother has got to be a hard calling - he's had 4 older brothers setting the bar insanely high for him. But Braden is just good. He is just a really good kid. He is extremely creative. The ideas that come of of his head blow me away. He can make anything out of cardboard and duct tape. And little kids love him. I've loved watching his personality develop as he has grown. He is such as sweet boy. Braden is so unique and spunky and positive and adorable. I am so glad that he is my baby brother and am so thankful for him.

Having five brothers is fun. And I always thought no one could come close to them in my heart. But when I married Brans, the size allotted for brothers in my heart grew. I have loved getting to know Brad, Dane, Chad and Blake and am thankful for them, too.

I am grateful for Brad. I've enjoyed getting to know him over the past few years, and love having him around. I love how much he loves his kids. They are lucky to have him as their dad. Brad is funny. He is never afraid to tell you what he's thinking, and loves talking to people. When Brans worked for him, it seemed like he was on the phone all day long with Brad. I loved it. Brad is strong and works so hard to provide for his family. I'm so grateful for him.

I am grateful for Dane. Of all the family, I've spent the least amount of time with Dane and still, over three years after I married into the family, I feel like I'm still getting to know him. He's always just lived far away. But I am grateful for him. Dane is really smart. Every time we see him, he's teaching us something new. He's a very talented musician and is very thoughtful. I am grateful for him and for the time I do get to spend with him, even if it is few and far between.

I am thankful for Chad. Chad left on his mission a few months after we got married, so I didn't get to know him very well until he came home. But this past summer he lived with us, and I am so thankful that he did. I got to know him so well, and loved connecting with him like he had always been my brother. Chad is just darling. I love joking around with him. He's smart and funny and cool. I am grateful he calls me his sister and am so thankful that he's my brother.

I am thankful for Blake. Blake also lived with us for a summer, and during that summer, we bonded. Blake is a super helpful kid. His family likes to give him a hard time because he's the baby and seemingly had it much easier than the rest of them, but he is a hard worker and doesn't have to be asked to do something. He's the guy that sees a need and takes care of it. Blake is fun and energetic and has such a good heart. I love him and and thankful for him.

I love brothers. I love spending time with them. I love watching sports with them. I love talking and joking with them. I love being their sister.

I'm so grateful for my brothers. All nine of them.

laughter

2011-11-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for laughter.

Laughter is an outward expression of happiness. And nothing is better for your soul than a genuine, deep-from-the-bottom-of-your-heart laugh.

I love hearing laughter. I love laughing. I love the way laughter can instantly lighten the mood and clear away any negative.

I am thankful that I love to laugh. I am thankful to be surrounded by people who make me laugh. I am thankful that I can occasionally make other people laugh.

When my mom was pregnant with Pie Face, I was in high school. We would stay up late talking about names for the baby. [All eight of us kids were a surprise. My parents didn't find out genders beforehand for any of us. It was always fun to guess, and get the phone call from my dad telling us whether it was a boy or girl.] We had narrowed down names for the baby if it was a boy, but it seemed like we spent so many nights talking about girl names. [Probably because there were already so many brothers.]

One night, I got home late from hanging out with my friends and went in to tell my mom 'good night' and we started talking about the baby.

We brainstormed names and my mom blurted out a name and then I said, "... we could call her Mim!" We both laughed for a few minutes but the mention of Mim made me think of Mad Madam Mim from the Sword in the Stone. You know the scene where her hair covers her face and she says "BOO!"... well, that's what I did with my long, long brown hair.

My mom laughed so hard that tears streamed down her face. I'm not sure if it was because it was late at night or perhaps the pregnancy hormones, but my mom couldn't stop laughing. Which made me laugh. Which made her laugh harder.

Even still, every once in a while, we'll remember that and we both get a fit of the giggles.

And I love every second.

I'm so grateful for laughter. I'm grateful for the bond laughter creates between people.

home

2011-11-21T21:57:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for home.

I think that home is where you feel most comfortable. And I think that home can be several places at once.

I am so grateful for the home I live in. I am thankful for the space we have. For the projects we've done and for the room we have to grow. I am grateful for the love and time that my grandparents put into our house to make it a home. I'm grateful for the homey spirit they built in the walls. I am thankful for the love and comfort that Brans and I enjoy in our home.

I am also thankful for the home I grew up in. There's a certain spirit in my parents house that just warms my soul. Its cozy. Small. Warm and inviting. I love everything about it.

I love being at home. I'm the girl who would usually rather stay at home than go anywhere else. I love the comfort of home. I love the feeling of coming home.

I am so thankful for our home. And for everything that home entails.

sisters

2011-11-20T22:32:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for my sisters.

Yesterday, we spent some time with Kendyll to celebrate her birthday and today we spent time with Pie Face for her birthday. [And we'll celebrate with Brindy in January for hers.]

It took a long time for me to have sisters, and while I was younger, I think I convinced myself that sisters just wouldn't be that great. I didn't have one until I was almost a freshman in high school. And I just thought that since I hadn't gotten one yet, I probably didn't need one. Or two. Or three. Or eleven.

But I was wrong.

When Brindy was born, my world changed. I started paying attention to girl things. I started liking the color pink. Brindy opened the piece of my heart reserved for sisters and it has grown exponentially since.

Then Pie Face was born. Never did I think I would have two sisters. But I did. And they are adorable. Since my sisters are so much younger than me, I have a different relationship with them than I would if I had grown up with sisters. But I don't think I'd trade it.

I love spending time with Brindy and Pie Face. I love being the "cool" older sister. I try to set a good example for them, but really they set the example for me.

Brindy is the sweetest girl in the whole world. I am so thankful for her sensitive, angelic demeanor. I am thankful for her giggle. It is so contagious. I love each and every time I hear it. Lately, we've shared these funny moments together when we'll just look at each other and laugh. No one ever really knows why we're laughing, but there's something so warming to my soul to have that connection to Brindy. I am thankful for her smile. I am thankful for her voice. Brin has the voice of an angel. Hearing her sing melts my heart. She is so talented. I am so grateful for Brindy.

Pie Face is a genius. All of the siblings in my family are smart. Really smart. But even as a toddler, Pie was superiorly smart. Before she could really talk she could turn on the computer and launch our dial-up internet. Tonight, she busted out grammatical rules and told me that "there wasn't a silent 'e' at the end of a word to suggest the 'o' sound at the beginning of the word." Yeah. She's nine. I am so thankful for her intellect. Its amazing to carry on an intelligent conversation with a nine year old. I am thankful for her sass. She's a little sassy pants and she definitely holds her own as the baby of the family. I am so grateful for Pie Face.

And then I married Brans and inherited a new sister.

I was super nervous about having a sister-in-law. Which is funny, since I could potentially have nine, if all of my brothers (and in-laws) get married.

But I couldn't ask for anyone better than Kendyll. Kendyll is beautiful. I remember the first time I met her thinking, wow, she's pretty. Stunningly pretty. She is so giving and welcoming to everyone. I am so thankful for the way she welcomed me into their family and made me feel like I was her sister, not just a girl who happened to marry her brother. I love hearing Kendyll tell stories. I love hearing excitement in her voice each time I talk to her. I am grateful for her laugh. I love hearing her laugh. I am grateful that she includes me in her life. She invites me to hangout with her friends. She calls to tell me funny things her kids do. She keeps me in the loop with things happening with the rest of the family. I am thankful for my friendship with Kendyll, and that I get to call her my sister.

I am so blessed. I am so grateful for my sisters. They bring nothing but joy to my life.

sports

2011-11-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for sports.

While there are certain things about sports that drive me crazy [like greedy athletes. Or the fact that our society encourages athletes to either not go to college and just enter the draft, or even worse, how about quiting and dropping out of college once you've completed 75% of your Bachelor's Degree. Man. I hate that so much.] there are so many things I love about sports.

I love the adrenaline while watching your team in a close game. I love the rules that make each sport different from another. I love the comradery between fans. I [usually] like the friendly batter between rival teams. I love watching sports with Brans and my brothers.

I love the excitement of a 91 yard punt return touchdown.

I love a grand slam in the bottom of the 9th to win the game.

I love a half-court 3 point shot.

I love watching a rugby scrum.

I love referees who make perfectly fair calls.

I am grateful for the entertainment sports provide. I am thankful that at any given time of year there is some sport to be interested in. I am grateful for the bond sports has given me with my brothers. Some of my favorite memories with my brothers have occurred during a sporting event.

Before I went to BYU, my brother Taylor decided to revoke my hugging privileges. [Its a really long story, but basically, I was teasing him one day and he teased me back by saying he wouldn't ever hug me again.] He didn't hug me for two years. Two. Years. Every birthday, Christmas or other significant event or holiday became a begging fest for a hug from Taylor.

I told everyone for my birthday that the only thing I wanted was for Taylor to hug me.

He didn't.

But, one cold November day, in the rivalry BYU vs Utah game, with no time left on the clock and down by five points, John Beck threw a game-winning pass that Jonny Harline caught on his knees in the endzone.

The room we were in erupted. You could probably hear the cheers from miles away. And I will never. n.e.v.e.r. forget what happened next.

Taylor jumped over the couch, did a half-flip/half-cartwheel and landed right next to me on the other side of the room.

And then my privileges were reinstated. He picked me up in a giant bear hug and shook me up and down for what seemed like an hour. When he set me down, I was dizzy. I may have gotten a mild concussion from all the shaking.

My mom, also jumping and cheering, shrieked, "Taylor! You hugged Shanna!" He just shrugged, said, "Well, we won!" and laughed.

I am grateful that sports have brought my family together and provided such wonderful memories and experiences.

And I am grateful that it's just a game.

[But oh, how thankful I am when we win.]

chickens

2011-11-18T22:43:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for our chickens.

We are currently raising 13 chickens and they are so fun and entertaining.

We have several different breeds, which lay several different colors of eggs. We get green shelled eggs. Pink. Tan. Dark brown. Its like an Easter egg hunt every day.

Each of our chickens have names and I'm pretty sure they respond when I call them.

Sophie.
Hedwig.
Archimedes.
Rosie.
Ruby.
Tina.
Kelloggs.
Dora.
Sully.
Buttercup.
Rocky II.
Pepper.
And She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Yes, we can tell them all apart. Yes, they gather at the gate when they hear the back door open. And yes, I love them. (Though strictly as farm animals. Not pets. They serve a purpose: providing eggs. And apparently, that distinguishes the two.)

I am thankful for the fresh eggs we get every day. I am thankful for the little bit of adventure raising chickens brings into our lives. I am grateful for our chickens.

light

2011-11-17T22:42:00.001-07:00

I am grateful for light.

I am thankful for sunlight which brightens the day. I am thankful for moonlight to see by at night. I am grateful for electric light which allows me to have light when and wherever I would like. I am grateful for candlelight which I can use as a back up light source or to just simply use as a warm and inviting accessory.

I am also grateful for light-heartedness. I am thankful for the light that enters your soul when you laugh. I am grateful for the light that lifts your heart with a sincere smile. I am grateful for the light that shines from righteous countenances.

Mostly, I am thankful for light that is truth. I am thankful for the light of understanding. I am thankful for the light of goodness in a seemingly dark and dim world.

I am thankful for light.

dishwasher

2011-11-16T19:31:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for our dishwasher.

Earlier this year, my carpal tunnel became unbearable. One of the things that was the most painful was doing the dishes. [Convenient, right?] My fingers were numb all the time. My grip was non-existent.

I may or may not have broken lots of dishes.

We searched for a used dishwasher and found one for a great deal. And since then, dishes have felt much less like a never-ending chore. And even now, while my hands are still gaining back strength from surgery, I am so grateful that dishwashers exist to make my life just a little bit better.

Tonight, I came home from a very long day at work and an insanely ridiculous train ride home to a counter full of dishes. Fun, right?

Initially, I felt overwhelmed. But I knew I would feel better if I could at least see my counter. So I rolled up my sleeves and dug in...

And was surprised when I put the last dish in the dishwasher and looked up at the clock.

Only 8 minutes had passed.

What used to take almost an hour and all of my hot water took 8 minutes. Eight. Minutes.

I am so grateful that we have a dishwasher. I'm grateful for the time it saves me. I'm grateful for all of the dishes it hasn't broken [which I can't say about myself...] and I'm grateful for the pain it has saved me from this year.

Who knew I could be so grateful for a dishwasher?

Well, I am.

water

2011-11-15T23:41:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for water.

I am thankful for all of the many functions of water.

Water cleanses.
Water quenches a thirst.
Water nourishes.
Water sustains life.

I am thankful for the abundance of water around me and that it is readily available for my needs. From doing the dishes to taking a hot shower. Or drinking a cold glass of water.

I love water. And all the things it allows me to do.

dictionary

2011-11-14T18:26:00.003-07:00

I love the Dictionary.

And I am grateful that there are so very many words. I love words. I love the sound of words. I love writing words. I love reading words. I love spelling words. And I am thankful that all of those wonderful words can be found in one place.

In a musical I saw a few years ago, a little girl is a finalist in a Spelling Bee and she sings a song about her best friend: the Dictionary.

I love my Dictionary

And I love the indented border

Every word's in alphabetical order

Ergo, lost things always can be found

And I wrap my head around the fact that in one book

Is the entire language of our species

Which is a favorite term of Nicci's

Who's the great-grandfather of Christina Ricci's

(hee hee hee)

Yes, I joke, but the words in the Dictionary

Are the friends that I'll have forever

More than the friends I have made in school

My friend, the Dictionary

Is a very reliable friend

I love this song. I, too, love the Dictionary, and consider it a very reliable friend.

I love the Dictionary. I love learning new words. I love reading all of the definitions of words I think I know and learning something new.

I am grateful God gave us a way to communicate with each other. I am grateful that there are so many words we can use to communicate - so many beautiful, wonderful, eloquent words.

And I am thankful for the Dictionary, the one book that contains the entire language of our species.

And that it's in alphabetical order.

Obviously.

niece and nephews

2011-11-13T20:23:00.002-07:00

I have the cutest nieces and nephews. And I could not be more grateful for them.

Tonight, we celebrated Wesley's birthday - he turned 5 yesterday. [Which blows my mind. I joined the family when he was 1. Its crazy to see how fast he's grown.] And it is simply adorable to see Wesley, Jack and Avery interact with me and each other.

Wesley is a super smart, sensitive, awesome little guy. He gets so excited to tell me about things in his life - new toys, what he learned at school, a new movie he watched. I love it. Jack is just silly. He constantly makes me laugh. And he knows he's funny, which only makes him funnier. Miss Avery is darling. She's just started talking and her little voice makes me smile. [Tonight, she told me she loved me. It sounded a lot like she said "lubbu" - but I new what she meant.]

I love living close to our niece and nephews. I am thankful that they know who I am and for their smothering hugs each time I see them.

I am so grateful for my family. Particularly, Wesley, Jack and Avery.

clean sheets

2011-11-12T22:56:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for clean sheets.

There's something about the first night you sleep on fresh, clean sheets. It's so... refreshing.

I love the smell of clean sheets.
I love their crispness.
I love snuggling up in them on a cold winter night.

I'm grateful that I can sleep in a clean, comfortable place each night. And I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep on. With clean sheets.

freedom

2011-11-11T13:47:00.003-07:00

I am thankful for freedom.

I am thankful for those people who have fought

for me to be able to obtain and keep that freedom.

My life is full of people who currently serve

or have served in the military.

Who have fought in wars.

Who have been deployed over seas.

Who have served our country so diligently.

I am grateful for everyone who serves our country.

And I am grateful that I live in a country that's free.

chapstick

2011-11-10T23:49:00.001-07:00

I am grateful for chapstick.

Every year when fall turns to winter, my lips crack and shrivel like the desert.

I'm so happy there's a little tube of soothing I can carry in my pocket.

tithing blessings

2011-11-09T19:50:00.003-07:00

I am grateful for tithing blessings.

I was raised to recognize these blessings in my life, and I am so, so thankful for them. I could recount numerous occasions growing up when we were blessed by paying our tithing. Brand new clothes showing up on our porch. Secret Santas. Anonymous envelopes filled with just enough cash for our groceries that month. So many things happened that strengthened my testimony as a child, then a teenager, as a college student and now, as an adult.

Growing up, my grandma would give us a few dollars for our birthdays. And while I can't remember how much money I got in a given year or what I did with that money, I can vivdly remember what she wrote in the card:

Always remember to pay your tithing.

And I have. I've made it a habit. I'm a full tithe payer, and so grateful that I am.

I know that blessings come from paying tithing to the Lord. And I know that those blessings are real.

Tonight, Brans and I were running errands, and found a long lost gift card in my purse. We decided to splurge for dinner and use the gift card. We ordered our meal, handed the gift card to the cashier and patiently waited for the payment to go through.

But it didn't.

She tried it twice and it didn't work.

My heart sunk. Money has been tight for us since Brans went back to school. We're not living poverty - by any means, but we also don't have much in our "Dining Out" budget allotment.

I knew the total. I knew that we didn't have the money for this, and that we wouldn't be eating out if it weren't for the gift card.

In the course of 5 seconds, I simultaneously thought:

Could I just tell her I changed my mind

and leave empty handed [and empty stomached]?

I guess I have that emergency $20 that I could use.

Maybe I could look up a coupon on my phone really quick...

Maybe I could...

And then the cashier looked up at me and said, "This isn't working..."

I'm not sure if she heard my heart sink. Or my stomach grumble. Or if she could see the panic and disappointment in my eyes. But she continued:

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm having trouble with the gift card. Why don't you just take the meal and enjoy it. Tonight, it's on the house."

I think I stared at her for several seconds with a look of disbelief.

"Really, ma'am. Enjoy your meal."

I wanted to cry. Tears of joy, of course.

"Really?! Thank you so much!"

I squealed like a little girl.

She said I was welcome and to have a great night.

I know it wasn't much. I know it may sound silly. And I know that it's such a little thing that a lot of people would just brush off. It was really just a little bit of money, and a matter of circumstance.

But I am thankful.

Thankful for the girl at the register,

who decided to have a charitable heart today.

Thankful for the warm, delicious meal she gave us.

Thankful for the opportunity to use our gift card another time.

Thankful that I am able to recognize tithing blessings in my life.

Small and large.

But most of all, thankful that our Heavenly Father is watching over us. I'm thankful that He is aware of our circumstances. Thankful that He shows us he cares and loves us. Thankful that he blesses us.

I am so thankful.

pajamas

2011-11-08T23:14:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for pajamas.

There's something so comforting and relaxing about coming home from a long, hard day of work and slipping into a nice cozy pair of sweats and thick fuzzy socks.

It's such a simple thing, but something about it is so good for the soul.

I am grateful for the nice comfort pajamas bring to the end of my day and the 'good job today, now why don't you relax' they seem to whisper to me.

hands

2011-11-07T17:22:00.003-07:00

I am thankful for my hands.

It's been two months to the day since my surgery.

I still feel less than 100%, [I feel about 75%, in case you were wondering] but also feel really good about the outcome. I lost a lot of strength in my hands and wrists, and it's been hard to get all of that back. I know it will come with time and energy, so I'm trying hard and trying to be patient.

I've always been grateful for the things my hands could do. But lately, I've been able to truly appreciate all of the little things that make those other things possible.

I'm grateful for 10 working, limber [although short] fingers. I'm grateful for wrists that bend. I'm grateful for the muscles and tendons and ligaments in my hands that make movement possible. I am grateful for the skin on my hands that has proven to heal itself so quickly.

I'm also thankful for the many talents I have been able to express through my hands. Heavenly Father sure blessed me with so many ways to use my hands, and I'm so grateful for all of them. I'm grateful that I am able to play the piano. I'm grateful that I was able to teach myself to play the organ. I'm grateful that I can write, with pretty legible handwriting. I'm thankful that I can cook extravagant meals. I'm grateful I can make and decorate beautiful cakes. I am thankful that I can hold my husband's hand. I'm thankful that I can type. I am thankful that I can create things with paper. I'm grateful I can sew patches on Brans' Scout uniform. I am grateful for so many wonderful thing that my hands can do! [truthfully, the list could go on for days...]

I am thankful for my hands. I am thankful for the things they can do - both noticed and unnoticed.

I am thankful that God made it possible for my hands to be fixed when they were broken.

I have so many things to be thankful for.

missionaries

2011-11-06T20:20:00.004-07:00

I am thankful for missionaries.

And I am thankful that Mission Presidents allow missionaries to email their family once a week. I can't imagine what it was like to only get a mailed letter every once in a while during a family member's mission.

I am definitely not the best at emailing my brothers who are on missions, but I seriously treasure each email I receive from them.

I love watching them grow.

I love hearing them share their testimonies.
I love reading about their experiences.

I love their enthusiasm.

I'm blessed to have two brothers serving missions at the moment:

my brother Taylor, who's in England

and Blake, Branson's brother, who's in the Netherlands/Belgium.

They are both stalwart examples of what missionaries can and should be. I'm so pleased with their decisions to serve the Lord for two years. They are incredible young men. And though they both are pegged as 15 year old boys in my head, it is awesome to see them become men.

I'm grateful for the service missionaries everywhere render. I'm grateful for the blessings I've received from my brothers, dad and husband all serving honorable missions. I am grateful for the message they share and for their willingness to do so.

I am thankful for missionaries.

And their weekly [or so] emails.

books

2011-11-05T11:58:00.002-06:00

I am thankful for books.

There just isn't quite anything like cuddling up next to a fire and getting into a book that whisks you away to another time and place.

I love to read. Love. It. And I've read a lot of books. But I love knowing that no matter how many books I have read, there are always so, so many more just waiting for it's pages to be turned.

In the age of electronics taking over the world, there's one advance I just can't get behind. I hate the thought of downloading books. I understand the convenience. I even understand how good it could be.

But there is something about holding a book in your hands, physically turning the pages and closing the book once you've finished the story. Nothing compares to that in my mind.

I love the smell of books. I love the feel of books. I love the look of books.

There are books that have seriously changed my life. Something in the story that gives me a different perspective. Something that helps me realize that I could be better. Something that I learn that I didn't know before. Sometimes, I just get inspired by a character and decide I want to be just like them.

I am thankful we have such an amazing form of both entertainment and learning, and that there are countless books for us to enjoy and benefit.

date nights

2011-11-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

I am grateful for date nights with my husband.

Last night, we drove up to Park City for some dinner and a little bit of shopping at the Outlets. [Yes, I found a pair of grey boots for $10. They may or may not be galoshes. And I may or may not be totally in love with them.]

I am so grateful that we have opportunities to spend time together just the two of us. I love "our" time. I love when nothing else in the world matters but us and our conversations.

We had a delightful dinner at a cute little Asian bistro in the middle of town, and just enjoyed each other's company [and our sushi] while we chatted and laughed and watched the snow begin to fall outside.

I am thankful for all of the time Brans takes to spends with just me.

convenience

2011-11-03T21:09:00.002-06:00

I am grateful for modern conveniences.

Today when we got home, our power was out.

It's amazing how much I rely on electricity:

to charge my phone

to cook my dinner

to heat my home

to type this blog

to do my job

to curl my hair

to watch tv

to do anything in what would otherwise be the dark

I'm grateful to be alive now. I'm grateful for all of the wonderful technological advances in my lifetime. I'm grateful for the simple things I take advantage of everyday, like electricity, running water, washing machines and dryers, dishwashers... there are so many things to be thankful for.

I'm grateful God knew how much I would enjoy modern conveniences, and that He blessed me to live in a time where they are so prevalent. I probably wouldn't have been a very good pioneer. Sure, I would have adapted and learned to deal with my surroundings, but it just seems like it would have been so hard.

I am so thankful for convenience.

work

2011-11-02T19:10:00.003-06:00

I am grateful for my job.

It gets really crazy, and seems to be stressful about 90% of the time, but I really am grateful for it.

My job has helped me grow. I've learned so many things. I've met so many amazing people. I've worked on so many awesome projects and events.

I feel so blessed to have a job that I enjoy, that I am good at, and that allows me to support our little family. I also feel blessed to work for a company with a true mission - whose objective is to spread truth and light into the world. I'm so grateful for the people I work with. I've made some terrific friends.

Although sometimes it's easy to get bogged down in the stress and business of the industry I'm in, today reminded me of the great things I'm helping to accomplish and how incredibly wonderful my job is.

Our little record label recently released a new album by Hilary Weeks. It's the best album from her yet, and I've found myself singing her songs in my head each morning when I wake up. [Seriously - it's really good.] Our music team has been making a big push to help Hilary's album debut on the Contemporary Christian Billboard Chart - a feat that we haven't achieved before. We knew it would be tough. The Christian Charts have never taken much notice to our little Mormon Indie label, but this morning, we opened the door. Hilary's album "Every Step" not only debuted at #6 on the Christian Chart, it also was the #1 Indie Album in the country this week and made it halfway into the Billboard Top 200 Chart [#102 to be exact.] Such. A. Big. Freaking. Deal. We've been celebrating all day.

I am so grateful that I not only get to work with amazingly talented people like Hilary Weeks, but that I also get to develop friendships with them, too. It's pretty cool, I know. [grin]

Some of the things I've been apart of at my job still amaze me.

And I'm so grateful for all of the incredible opportunities I've been given.

I am thankful to be employed.

I am thankful I know how to work hard.

I am thankful that I have learned how to solve really hard problems.

I am thankful for my boss. He's one of my favorite people.

I am thankful to know so many talented people who make my job possible.

I am thankful for the influence I have for good through my job.

I am thankful.

november

2011-11-01T22:25:00.001-06:00

Dear November,

I'm grateful for you. Your beautiful colors make my heart sing. The festive holiday season that you kick off is my favorite time of year. Thank you for always reminding me of all the things I have to be thankful for.

Sincerely,
Shanna

* * * * * * * *

I'm thankful for warmth. Both physical and emotional.

I'm grateful for tangible things that keep me warm:

Warm winter coats
Mittens
Socks
Space heaters
Fireplaces
Snuggly blankets

I'm also grateful for the small and simple things that warm my soul:

Smiles from strangers
Sincere compliments
Unexpected phone calls from friends
Shared talents
... and so many others

I am thankful for all of the many ways God blesses me with warmth, both inside and out.

beautiful heartbreak

2011-10-25T13:47:00.002-06:00

You know sometimes when you hear a song and it just pierces your soul? When the combination of the words and music suddenly cuts right through your heart? And you realize things you haven't realized before. And it changes you.

That's what this song did for me. And I completely sob through this video.

Every. Single. Time.

[Especially at about 3 minutes in]

It is so emotional and inspirational.

|| I had it all mapped out in front of me | Knew just where I wanted to go | But life decided to change my plans | And I found a mountain in the middle of my road | I knew there was no way to move it | So I searched for a way around| Broken-hearted I started climbing | And at the top I found |

I never dreamed my heart would make it | And I thought about turning around | But Heaven has shown me miracles | I never would have seen from the ground | Now I take the rain with the sunshine | 'Cause there's one thing that I know | He picks up the pieces | Along each broken road ||

* * * * * * * *

I hope that I view things in my life as 'beautiful heartbreaks' instead of being bitter about the things that seem so unfair. It's so easy to be depressed and sad about terrible things that happen to you and people that you love.

I definitely know that God picks up the pieces along the seemingly broken roads of our lives. And I am so grateful that He does and for my first-hand knowledge of it.

recovering

2011-09-28T10:07:00.003-06:00

It's been three weeks (about to the minute) since my surgery.

Things went very well. No complications. Everything went smoothly.

And things since the surgery have been...

hard

humbling

but so worth it.

- - - - - - - -

Because they were cutting both of my hands they had to put the IV in my foot. SO very painful. The nurse and doctor that put in the IV were so nice and so apologetic. But man, it hurt so bad.

Before they took me into surgery, the nurse asked to see each of my hands, and then proceeded to write "yes" on each of my wrists. A little while later, my surgeon came in to chat and had to initial my wrists. A pretty simple thing, but I can only imagine all of the lawsuits and problems that come if for some reason they operate on the wrong appendage... Better safe than sorry, I guess. But who'd have thought that writing "yes" on your wrist with a sharpie could solve so many problems?

So they wheeled me into surgery. And I don't remember a thing. They asked me to slide over from the gurney to the operating table, but I don't even recall how my head hit the pillow. I was out. I woke up a few hours later, bandaged like a boxer.

The surgery itself was less than a half hour. But I could immediately feel a difference in pain when I woke up. I hurt from being cut open, but the excruciating pain and numbness from before was gone. Still is. It's amazing how modern medicine has progressed to allow a simple procedure to result in such a complete change in how I feel.

I'm so grateful.

As you can imagine, being wrapped up so much and still in post-surgery pain, I couldn't do anything.

When I say "anything," I mean everything. I couldn't feed myself. I couldn't lift a paper cup to my mouth. I couldn't brush my teeth. Couldn't get hair out of my face. Scratch an itch. Open doors. Shower. Get dressed. Hold a remote. Use my phone. I couldn't even walk down the hall by myself. If you think about all of the things you do with your hands in even one hour... It's amazing how useful hands are. Something I suppose I very much took for granted.

It was frustrating to not be able to do anything for myself. It was humbling to have to ask for help for even the tiniest of things (and some of the not-so-tiny things... like going to the bathroom). It was hard to just sit around all day being waited on. It taught me a lot of patience to rely on someone else to feed me every single bite of food for two weeks. It was faith-building to realize that I can be healed from so much pain. It was overwhelming to know how many people loved me and cared about me.

So many people sent such nice Get Well cards.

So many people brought us dinners.

So many people sent flowers.

So many people called and left sweet messages.

So many people told me they were praying for me.

I'm humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for the love I have seen.

So, thank you. For everything.

- - - - - - - -

About a week and a half after the surgery, they had me come in to change the bandages. So I downsized to gauze and ace bandages - a welcome alternative. The big bulky bandages were thick and sweaty and itchy.

With my hands not as bulky, I was able to start moving my fingers again, but only in small, simple movements. I could hold my toothbrush and move my head back and forth to kinda brush my teeth. I could use one finger to turn on the power button of the tv. But that's about it. After several days, I could hold a plastic fork with a baby bite on it and feed myself. Small things to normal life, but such great accomplishments for me.

And last week, they finally took the stitches out.

I have a pretty strong stomach and don't usually get woozy or pass out, but I came super close to it when they took the stitches out. My hands hurt just being in the open air. The wounds were still sore and tender and the stitches were so close to my skin that they had to pull it really tight to be able to cut the stitches.

It hurt. But I'm tough. I winced through the first few stitches, but started to get clammy and dizzy when I could feel the stitches being pulled over the wound and then under my skin. It was freaky. But I survived. (Barely.)

- - - - - - - -

Now, I'm on the mend. I'm still slow at any hand movements. But I feel stronger everyday.

I can:

type, though very, very slowly

cut my own food

turn door handles

almost play an octave on the piano

brush my hair

... so many things.

My hands are still tender. A little swollen. And if I try to do too many things they ache.

But I'm being healed.

And it's an incredible feeling.

hands

2011-09-06T15:35:00.006-06:00

In less than 24 hours, I'll be in surgery.

Carpal Tunnel Surgery.

On both hands.

I've been more excited than nervous since the date was set.

But this morning, I woke up with that empty pit feeling in my stomach.

But I know everything will go well.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Through a frustrating and way-too-prolonged course of events, I ended up scheduling the surgery with my neighbor and back-up Ward Organist as my surgeon.

My surgeon is very good at what he does, highly recommended by everyone I've talked to, and, most importantly, fully invested in my recovery.

He sent me a text message this morning that said:

Looking forward to tomorrow. Best wishes to both of us.

My symptoms became pretty unbearable this spring - in both hands. I've been suffering with symptoms in my right hand for several years, but it was always manageable. And it's easy to still do things when you have one perfectly working hand. But when they both practically shut down.... It's bad news.

So this spring, when I felt like cutting off my hands every day, I finally went to a doctor. He referred me to a highly sought after hand surgeon that just so happened to be covered by my insurance. I was nervous and excited about the prospect of surgery, and called to make an appointment.

But his first opening was in the middle of August.

And it was May.

I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to wait to get in to see him, telling myself, that if the waiting list was so long, he must be the best. Right? The summer basically came and went, and the day of my appointment had finally arrived. I geared myself up for good news and bad news, preparing my heart for whatever the outcome would be. I was scared he'd say surgery was necessary. I was scared he'd say that I'd just have to wear braces on my hands for the rest of my life and live with the pain.

I arrived at my appointment 20 minutes early, thinking that I'd need time to park, fill out insurance info, and just to sit in the waiting room and calm myself down. But when I walked up to the reception desk, everything changed.

I said I was there for a 1:00pm appointment. They told me to have a seat and that they'd be with me soon. I waited about 15 minutes, not thinking anything was wrong, when the receptionist came back to the desk and informed me that I did not have an appointment with the doctor. I said that I was sure I did, and asked her to check again. She did a little digging and found out that the woman who I made the appointment with put my appointment in with a foot specialist. Awesome. Because I'm sure a foot specialist is interested in carpal tunnel. In my HANDS.

My eyes welled with tears, and I tried to hold them back and asked the woman what I should do. She kindly said that she would help me reschedule. I brushed the tears aside and said ok, and waited for her to look up the next available opening:

November 30.

And that's when I started crying. A lot. Almost in pitiful sobs. Almost. She apologized for the long wait and for the inconvenience, and said that she wished there was something else she could do for me... "but would you like the November 30 appointment?"

I declined, thanked her for trying and gathered

my things while hurriedly trying to get out the door.

I almost made it to my car before the sobs returned... or... er... started.

I sat in my car for 20 minutes, heartbroken and in pain. I couldn't believe that I had waited over 3 months for this appointment only to have it messed up. I was angry. Sad. Hurt. Why did I have to wait so long? It was so unfair.

I came home and started my search for a doctor all over again, when a little voice in my head told me to send a message to my neighbor. When I had talked to him earlier in the year about my hands, he mentioned that he did Carpal Tunnel Surgery, but that his practice didn't accept my insurance. So I sort of wrote off the idea. But my little head voice (read: Holy Ghost) said it again:

Send the message.

So I did. I mentioned that my appointment fell through with this other surgeon, and that I knew he didn't accept my insurance, but wondered if he had any recommendations for what I should do or who I should see.

He kindly informed me that he had recently signed an exclusive deal with my insurance company, and would be happy to fit me in at my earliest convenience.

I made an appointment for a few days later and, this time, was not scared at all before the consult.

He immediately put me at ease when I walked into his office - in fact, he came out to the foyer to say hello while still meeting with another patient! He took almost an hour that morning answering all of my questions, presenting all of the different methods of action to take, all of the ins and outs of surgery, and more importantly, recovery. He truly made me feel at peace with the decision.

And it helps that he has a vested interest in my recovery - the sooner I heal, the fewer weeks he has to play the organ in our ward.

I trust my hands in his.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The other day I was talking to a woman that works in my building and she asked me how I thought I developed Carpal Tunnel. I told her about all of the things I do with my hands (read: everything I love to do I do with my hands.) and she said "... well, God giveth and God taketh away."

But she is wrong.

God gave me my hands. He gave me the talents to use them. And he has given me the opportunity to learn a few things about myself lately.

I can do hard things.

I can work through the pain.

And, that through Him, I can be healed.

I've been so blessed in my life to have many talents and abilities. My hands are God's tools. And I hope that I have successfully used them for good, and that I can continue to use them for better. God isn't or hasn't taken anything away. He has only given.

He's given me hope. Peace. An opportunity to stretch and learn. He's given me a deep appreciation for the healing power of our Savior. And He's taught me that I am strong.

I am positive that lining up my neighbor as my surgeon was a divine gift.

It's just one of the many ways God has shown me He truly does love me and is protecting me and watching out for me in all that I do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, tomorrow, I say good bye to these:

you could not imagine how hard it is to

take a photo of both of your hands at the same time...

And while I can't really use my hands much for the next two weeks, I'm excited about the prospect of being able to play the piano without my fingers going numb. Or washing the dishes without losing my grip and breaking something. Or making a wedding cake without crying during the decorating. Or, simply being able to sleep through the night without waking up every hour in pain.

I am excited.

And so grateful for the outpouring of love and affection. I am so lucky to have so many people who love me.

Seriously.

Thank you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I would say wish me luck,

but I feel too blessed to need luck.

I'm being watched over.

But I totally appreciate prayers.

dean's list

2011-07-18T20:58:00.003-06:00

From the very first moment that

Brans and I met,

I knew he was a very smart guy.

And since he's gone back to school,

we both have been working super hard

- -

He with his classes and homework

and me with my super fast-paced job

- -

While I was hoping that he would get good grades,

I was pleasantly surprised when

he got this letter in the mail last week:

And I couldn't be more pleased.

harry potter

2011-07-15T07:58:00.003-06:00

Yes. I saw it.

Yes. It was mind-blowing-ly awesome.

Yes. I got home a little before 3am.

Yes. I'm at work already.

Yes. I'm tired.
Yes. I cried.

Yes. Multiple times.

Yes. It was totally worth it.

Yes. It was a perfect conclusion to a revolutionary franchise.

Yes. I loved it.

What else do I love?

Potter Puppet Pals.

This one is my favorite.

And yes. I sing the song frequently.

In my head and out loud.

sights of summer

2011-07-04T23:26:00.002-06:00

These are some of the sights of our summer so far.

While I love them all, I must admit I'm most currently enthralled with the recent addition of a dishwasher to our kitchen. [My carpal tunnel hands just can't grip dishes anymore. And no, I will not tell you how many glasses I may or may not have broken.] Thank goodness for machines that help make work a little easier.

Happy summer.

And Happy Independence Day.

I'm so glad we live in America.

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the boy who lived

2011-06-28T10:47:00.006-06:00

I just purchased tickets for the last Harry Potter film.

[yes, the midnight showing, in case you were wondering]

We've gone from this:

to this:

and endured all of the adventures in between.

Yes, I can hardly contain my excitement.

No, I will not dress up as Hermione.

Yes, I will cry through the whole thing.

No, Brans will not cry with me.

Yes, he will make fun of me and all the other bawling children.

[just like in the 6th film when a very

unfortunate series of events happen.

hint: snape snape severus snape dumbledore

snape snape severus snape dumbledore]

No, I will not have a Harry Potter movie marathon before this one.

Yes, I will re-read the 7th book before the show.

No, I will not take the next day off of work to sleep.

Yes, I will be exhausted.

No, I will not regret it.

Yes, I will commence reading the whole series again after this.

No, it will not be for the second or third time.

[more like the nineteenth or twentieth...]

Yes, I love Harry Potter oh so much.

No, I am not obsessed.

boss

2011-06-09T12:48:00.004-06:00

My job has been frustrating and so, so busy lately, so I've been a little down in the slums.
[i.e. projects being delayed, too much to do that it seems nothing gets done, etc.]

But today, my boss came back from lunch and handed me a small brown paper bag that contained this:
... about 100 white gummy bears. He had painstakingly picked out each of the gummy bears one at a time, from a big jar full of them at our downtown store. [He said he got several funny looks while he did it... but man, am I appreciative.]

White gummy bears are obviously the best kind of gummy bear, and were just the pick-me-up I needed today.

But what a great boss. I seriously love working for him, regardless of how hectic my job gets sometimes.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go make myself sick on gummy bears.

speechless

2011-05-11T10:20:00.006-06:00

Lately, I've experienced quite the writers block.

It's not that interesting things haven't been happening, because they have:

We celebrated both my birthday and Branson's birthday in the past month.
Chad moved in with us for the summer.
Branson successfully finished his first semester back in school

- finishing with good grades and all.

We found a gigantic-ly disgusting rats nest in our current bathroom remodel.

[more to come on that when my vocabulary
decides to grace me with it's presence again.]

We transplanted about a million strawberry plants in our garden,

and also helped till and sow the rest of the garden.

Branson was on staff at Wood Badge for a week, and loved every minute.
I have been making homemade bread every week

- there is nothing better.

I met Jimmer's brother, TJ.

Yes, it did raise my coolness factor
and street cred significantly.

There have been weekly ping-pong tournaments between the Larson and Ashcraft brothers, the most recent being a draw in a doubles tournament between Brans, Chad, Bryson and Tanner.

[What you might not know, is that Tanner has been
the reigning ping-pong champ for the past year or so.
He's been unbeatable, until last week.
Chad finally beat him - by one point.]

I cannot tell you how much I love that my brothers and my brothers-in-law are friends and have such a great time with each other. I love being one big family, as opposed to two families trying to live in one world.

But,
my passion for writing has just taken a little break. I'm sure it will come back from vacation soon - but my mind has been so busy with work, and family, and church responsibilities, that it didn't really pay attention to the notice my writing skills gave that it would be taking a sabbatical.

So, my apologies for the few and far between posts.
Please forgive my lack of words.

{almost} spring musings

2011-04-07T09:35:00.003-06:00

It was {almost} spring last week and there were blossoms on all of our trees and little baby daffodils blooming in our yard. Then it snowed 8 inches at our house and killed everything. Isn't there a law that it isn't supposed to snow in April?

* * *

We are the proud owners of seven chickens. Yes, chickens. Four of them are ours, and the other three are making a temporary home at our house until my aunt and uncle finish building their home.

* * *

This year's NCAA championship game was the worst basketball game I have ever seen. And I have seen sooo many basketball games in my lifetime. This includes, but is not limited to: scrappy college games, high school boys games, junior high girls games, and ward ball. What a disgrace to the sport. (For a more in-depth review and hours of commentary from yours truly, feel free to call me and I'll tell you how I really feel... ha!)

* * *

But hooray for Jimmer winning the Naismith Player of the Year Award! I love you, Jimmer. Please play for an NBA team I like (read: Not the Lakers or the Heat. Or the Cavs. Or the Clippers, Bulls or Wizards. Ok, please just play for the Jazz so I can still watch you play live).

* * *

I always feel uplifted and renewed after General Conference. It's hard not to. But this particular one seemed to penetrate deeper than usual. So many great messages. So many inspired words. And so many talks I absolutely needed to hear.

* * *

My life is quite lovely. I have a great job. I have incredibly amazing family. I have fantastic friends. I have a clean, warm home to live in and a coop for my chickens!

Above all, I have a magnificent husband. He's good for me - Balances me out, and helps me be better.

Life is excellent.

cougars

2011-03-25T07:25:00.002-06:00

Dear Cougars,

Thank you for the best basketball season ever.
I had high hopes for you - and you did not disappoint.
Yes, I was crushed with your loss last night, but - BUT.
I have never, ever loved you more.

From the thrilling and inconceivable threes of Jimmer, to the unbelievable steals by Jackson, and 32 fantastic wins this season -- It was magical. There's something exhilarating about the way you played. The heart. The effort. The teamwork. It made the game as exciting as it should be. Each game was so fun to watch and made me proud to be a Cougar.

Jimmer, Thank you for everything. You amaze me. Not just with your crazy crossovers or your half-court threes. More than your breathtaking ability, I'm so impressed with your attitude. You are the greatest baller of all time, and yet, you are a level-headed, humble kid who always tried his best and told it like it is. You always gave props to your teammates and it seriously warms my heart that you would keep your focus where it needed to be: on your team. You weren't selfish, when it seemed you had every right to be. You could have easily taken all of the credit for those 32 wins, but you didn't. You always gave a shout out to the team who set up your shots, or defended your basket, or got you the ball.

Also, thank you for not being an idiot. I am grateful that you can speak intelligently in interviews and that you represented not only your team, but our school and our religion well. So many athletes in the media now seem to put off this "dumb jock" persona - I'm glad that you are articulate and humble. You are a great role model. Thank you for all that you did, and will still do as you enter the spotlight of the NBA. You are one of basketball's greats. And I feel honored to be able to say I was able to watch you play. I will proudly wear my "I [heart] Jimmer" shirt forever.

But I think this girl said it best:

I love you, Jimmer. That's what I said...

Although this season was full of Jimmermania, the rest of the team deserves some highlighting, too. You made it possible for Jimmer to play his best. You got him the ball. You forced turnovers. You weren't selfish and gave Jimmer every opportunity he needed. You hit your threes when Jimmer was having an "off" night. You played your hearts out. And I am grateful for you. You all did your part. Some nights were better than others, but there were plenty of games that displayed to the world why BYU Basketball is such a great thing and why there are millions of us Cougar fans around the world. You worked hard and you deserve to be applauded.

Jimmer, Jackson and Logan - thank you for a great run. You will be sorely missed, but you left a phenomenal legacy. The greatest year BYU Basketball has ever seen - and YOU made it happen.

Abouo, Hartsock, Anderson, Rogers, both Collinsworth boys - what a team. I can't wait for next season. I'm already counting down the months until you hit the court again. (And Kyle, good luck on your mission. How about you come back in two years and be even better? Please don't get any silly injuries on p-days. Thanks.)

Martineau, Winder and Zylstra - You have big shoes to fill. I don't expect you to drop 52 points right away... But I hope you work hard toward next season to step up and keep the legacy going. I believe in you. (Maybe you can get Jimmer to teach you how to play prison ball, or how to dribble down a dark church hallway...)

And Brandon. Oh, Brandon. How I wish you were on the floor instead of the bench. (Though, I'm happy to at least see you there, cheering on your team, your brothers.) I love you dearly and hope to see you in a blue and white jersey next season. You could very well be the future of this team. And I hope you get that opportunity. You are a great kid and an even better baller. Hang in there. Everything will turn out just fine.

Last, but certainly not least: Dave Rose. You, sir, are absolutely amazing to me. Coach of the Year, no doubt. You have done wonders with this team. Please stick around forever.

This season was more than anything I could have hoped for. We made it to the Sweet 16! That's huge! I'm so pleased. And while it wasn't a national title... You are still champions to me.

I've loved the fast-paced nature of your game.
I've loved the unexpected three from Noah when Jimmer is triple-teamed.
I've loved every single time Jackson stole the ball.
I've loved the energy, the spirit and the force you've played with.
I've loved see my school, my beliefs hold up under the scrutiny of the world.
And I absolutely love being a BYU fan.

Thank you. I will forever remember this season with a smile on my face. And I can't wait until next season. Go Cougars!

Sincerely,
Your most loyal fan

maggie

2011-03-01T16:45:00.005-07:00

M a g g i e

(taken from Maggie's mom's blog)

Our Sweet Angel, Maggie Alyce Agnew, passed away peacefully on February 26, 2011 in her Mother and Father’s arms, surrounded by loved ones. She was born on June 18, 2008 in Salt Lake City, UT to Sean and Michelle Agnew. Although her life was short, her presence will leave a lasting impact on all those who knew her. She was an inspiration to so many people around her and will never be forgotten. Maggie was a spunky little girl who always knew what she wanted! While her body may have appeared weak her spirit was strong and full of life. She loved to cuddle with her Mom, watch football with her Dad and tease her brother and sister, as well as everyone around her! She loved her green binkies and red suckers. In fact there was rarely a time you would see her without one! She loved Princess Aurora and everything Pink! Maggie loved to be outside and loved to swing at Grandma’s house. She enjoyed going on walks with her family and visiting the ducks. Maggie was blessed with a wonderful family, amazing neighbors and friends and great nurses and doctors. We are so thankful for the time we had to spend with our sweet angel girl and will miss her so much!

We love you Mags, always and forever.

Maggie is survived by loving parents, Sean and Michelle; sister Hailey (6); brother Taveon (4); And many grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Funeral Services will be held on Friday March 4, 2011 at 11:00 a.m. at the LDS Chapel 1111 E. Charleton Ave., Salt Lake City, UT. A viewing for friends and family will be held on Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at the church, and again one hour prior to funeral services. Interment to follow at Holladay Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers please donate to the Mitochondrial Foundation at www.umdf.org in Maggie’s name. On-line condolences at www.memorialutah.com

-----------------------------------------

Maggie was in my parents' ward, and the Ashcrafts and Agnews have grown very close over the years. We are all peacefully heartbroken with Maggie's passing - she is finally free from her pain and suffering, but my heart hurts for her parents, family and friends. She was a tough little girl and I am better for knowing her. I am thankful to know that she will be reunited with her family one day. Thank goodness for the Gospel and for the Plan of Salvation. Because of it, we can have peace and know that everything will be alright.

jimmered

2011-01-26T22:46:00.001-07:00

I am in love with Jimmer Fredette.

Branson is fine with it, by the way. (But only because Jimmer is such a baller.)

He's just SO good!

Whether you are a BYU fan or not, you've gotta admit:

Jimmer is incredibly amazing. He's the leading scorer in the country. The COUNTRY.

Some of the shots he makes are so unreal. Its like he has this magical magnetic ability to throw the ball and just will it through the hoop and it obeys. He was on fire tonight against SDSU. I loved every minute!

Did I mention that I love him?

Come on, Jimmer. NCAA Championship. I can see the March Madness brackets already.

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a few things

2011-01-23T21:31:00.004-07:00

Remember that one time when I resolved to be better about updating this blog slash journal after the new year?

Remember that one time when I failed?

It's been a busy month. They all are busy.

But January has been full of:

...various Church things for both of us

...lots of Saturday morning Scout meetings

...cleaning and getting more organized after the holidays

...getting back into the swing of things with Branson back in school

...making a wedding cake for one of my favorite people

...seeing lots of old friends

...closely following a budget

...finding rats in our house

...hosting family parties

...learning to manage all aspects of life better

...cleaning out my closet and giving all of

my favorite clothes to my sister Brindy

...cutting seven inches off of my hair

(truth: Brans cut my hair. It took lots of trust and a little bit of coaching while closely watching every movement in the mirror, but it looks pretty good. Simple, but good. Brans said, "It's not that hard to cut a straight line..." ha ha Yes, I love my husband. And now I apparently trust him with my hair. If you know me well, you know that that is a big deal, since I rarely even let professionals cut my hair. I usually do it myself.)

...discovering Branson's hidden talent of being a silversmith

...losing 10 pounds since Christmas

...buying a new car - a fully loaded 2010 Subaru Impreza.

(Don't worry, we didn't buy an Outback. We're not t h a t trendy.)

It's been an exciting new year thus far!

one

2011-01-01T20:28:00.001-07:00

It was a busy 2010... and the holidays were even busier. But our Christmas was just delightful and we are ready for a new year.

We've set goals and have some great expectations for 2011. It's going to be a good year. I can feel it.

Happy New Year. May yours be filled with all the love and happiness you can possibly imagine.

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thanks

2010-11-25T23:48:00.004-07:00

We have a lot to be grateful for...

....

More than we could possibly list,

and certainly more than we even acknowledge.

....

Thanks

for everything you've ever done for us.

...

And thanks to our Heavenly Father

who has given us everything

and more.

...

Happy Thanksgiving.

server down

2010-11-05T08:17:00.002-06:00

The 4th Quarter at any retail company is always insanely busy. And Deseret Book is no exception.

I've been caught up in deadlines and bluelines and all sorts of other lines...

But yesterday afternoon, our company email went down. And is still down. And I may or may not have had a few panic attacks about it.

You see, my job relies heavily on being able to email designs and other production-y things to people for revisions and approvals. And I'm currently eyelashes deep in a whole bunch of projects that need to be finished before my Thanksgiving vacation can begin (which, may I remind you, is not too many days from now. Seriously, can't believe we're a week into November. Where does all the time go?).

I know that people used to be able to work without email... and even work with unreliable email. But, it's the end of 2010. And work = email in a lot of cases. Especially (please don't say expecially - it's not a word) ... Especially mine.

So, I'm cleaning my desk, and sorting my files... and crossing my fingers that the 37 emails in my draft box will be able to go out soon.

Happy Friday.

great pumpkins

2010-10-31T19:21:00.004-06:00

We've been trying to eat heathy lately,

and in the spirit of Halloween,

my mom brought us a treat...

and we couldn't appreciate it more. Isn't she creative?!

Happy Halloween!

praying

2010-09-25T15:35:00.001-06:00

Almost a month ago, we got a phone call from Branson's mom. She was calling to tell us why she wouldn't be coming up to Utah as planned. Something had come up and she felt like she needed to stay in San Diego for a few more days.

She had a few tests done and found out (basically on her way out of town) that is was cancer.

You can imagine our shock - We felt totally blindsided. We didn't have any reason to suspect such a scary phone call. I cried. Branson and Blake stood strong - full of concern and love - but strong, nonetheless. And I couldn't keep the tears from pouring out.

I was scared. My mind kept racing, bouncing back and forth between the worst and best-case scenarios. What if...? And what if...? But what if...? Or what if...? (I too often let my imagination get the best of me.) There wasn't a lot of detail yet. She needed to make a few decisions and promised to keep us in the loop.

We prayed. A lot. Harder and longer than I can ever remember praying. Praying for a specific outcome. Praying for it to not be true. Praying for the bad dream to end. Praying for everything to turn out ok. But then our prayers changed: We prayed for peace. We prayed to know that everything would turn how how it should. We prayed for comfort - for us and for her.

And comfort is what we received. Everything is going to be fine. It doesn't take away the scary. It doesn't mean that it won't be hard. It just means that it's going to be ok. Whatever happens.

She had surgery a little over a week ago and everything went well. They removed everything and staged her at 2B/3A. Now there will be treatment schedules and everything that comes with that. But through the whole process, we have all had this unbelievable sense of peace. Everything is going to be alright. She is strong. She is a fighter. And everything is going to be fine. We know that God is watching and that things happen for a reason.

Our hearts have been in constant prayer. And our thoughts are with her every second. We love her and are grateful for her in our lives. She is the strongest woman we know. If anyone can beat it, she can.

And we know that everything is in God's hands. And that it will be alright.

And we keep praying to remember that.

august

2010-08-29T23:10:00.003-06:00

August... is basically over.

It's been an interesting month, filled with so many events and emotions.

I worked 12 hour days for two weeks straight.
We celebrated Bryson's birthday.
We found out some sad news about our friend Maggie.
Chad came home from his mission in Santiago, Chile.
We spent 10 days in San Diego.
-which included Disneyland, the beach, and lots of parties.
We came home and planted 9 rose bushes and 30 lilies in our yard.
We went to a few weddings.
We had a rockin' ping pong tournament.
- Tanner is the legitimate Ultimate Ping Pong Champion.
I got jury duty.
We found out some not-so-good (read: scary and awful) news.
-we're praying and hoping everything turns out ok. More to come.
We spent time with some of our favorite friends.
-I'm lucky to have gained so many family-friends with my in-laws.
Such great people.

And we're tired.
More accurately: Exhausted.

But we're still breathing.

good life

2010-07-30T22:27:00.006-06:00

My house is a mess.
I haven't done the dishes since Monday.
I haven't made dinner since Monday, either
- Which makes me feel like a bad wife.
- Not because I believe women should always make dinner
- But because I love making dinner for my husband. Love it.
- And I know he appreciates it, too.
I have clean clothes sitting in a laundry basket next to my bed
- Unfolded.
And piles of dirty laundry that I don't want to talk about.
B's camping stuff is in the middle of our living room,
- And hasn't moved in 2 weeks.
Our swamp cooler has made our house feel damp,
- Though we appreciate the coolness.
I worked super long hours everyday this week.
- And next week will be worse.

My piano is in tune and every note works.
I can't stop listening to this
- It fills me with the desire to twirl.
I have eight, yes, 8 wedding announcements on my fridge.
- One of which, I was not expecting to be invited to
- But truly couldn't be more excited about.
Chad comes home from his mission in only a matter of days.
We've seen really great movies lately
- Inception=Awesome.
Soon, Disneyland will wash all my cares away.

I keep waiting for life to slow down, but it isn't.
But days like today
- Days when I laugh uncontrollably with friends
- Hold hands with my husband
- Have fun with my family
- And still manage to work hard, too.
These are the days that remind me that
- Life is good.

Regardless of the piles of dishes, laundry, check-lists and problems:
I have a great life
- Surrounded by people that I love, who love me back.
And right now
- That's the only thing I need.

summer musings

2010-07-15T21:19:00.005-06:00

It's about freaking time the National League won the All-Star Game. It only took 14 years for them to show up. However, I still wished for an AL win - I mean, come on, How sweet would it have been if Torii Hunter and the rest of the American League-ers won at Angel Stadium? But... Well played, NL. Well played.

I am in desperate need of a real vacation.

This summer, I am refusing to believe that it is actually hot outside on weekdays. I'm pretty sure it is only hot on weekends. Why? Because I work in an office that keeps the air conditioning set at 40 degrees. Currently, most of us are wearing sweaters to work, and I'm ashamed to admit that I had to turn my space heater on under my desk today.

I can't remember the last time I slept completely through the night - 2:30am and 4:30am and I have become quite familiar with each other. And I am not happy about it.

Branson's brother Blake is quickly topping the chart of my favorites. He is staying with us for the summer and couldn't be more helpful. He keeps his room cleaned, helps me with the dishes and asks me almost everyday if I need help with anything. My only complaint: I've never seen someone drink so much apple juice. I can't keep up!

Make-your-own-Jamba-Juice frozen packets from Costco is my favorite summer find - thus far.

Time is slipping from me. I'm perplexed as to where the first half of 2010 went. I'm not ready for summer to be over. And I'm definitely not ready for fall... Yikes. Or winter. AGH! I have a theory that -- well, you know when something starts spinning crazy out of control right before it explodes? Yeah. I think that's what's going on here... The earth just spins faster and faster and faster, and time with it. Until one day - BAM! Earth is renewed and receives it's paradisaical glory. So when everyone starts feeling dizzy and motion sick... I'd hurry up with that repentance process.

Today, one of my piano students was talking about a summer camp they are going to that I went to when I was their age. I told them a few funny stories about when I went, and then she asked me how long ago that was. I had to think for a minute. And then when I realized how long it had been, I think I felt one of my hairs think about turning grey. "Oh, gosh... I went 15 years ago! It's been a long time!" I finally said. "15 years! That's like forever ago!" I've never felt so old. And I know I'm not that old. But man. What a sucker punch to the face.

I love my coworkers. Love them. They make my life (read: my job) worth living - particularly through stressful, busy times. Like now.

That and Brans.... I like him, too. Nay, love. I love him.

two saturdays

2010-07-11T12:27:00.005-06:00

Once upon a time, I wanted life to slow down so I could enjoy it more...

Oh wait. That's how I feel now.

We've had family parties every weekend, (with a few dinners, celebrations and ping-pong tournaments in between) Brans and I both have been working super long hours, and we've both been busy with our church callings. We're both exhausted, but grateful for the favorable circumstances we find ourselves in. (Except when our dryer burns our clothes, and the birds dig holes in my freshly pampered garden...)

My wish: To have an 8-day week.
7 days as normal, with the addition of a second Saturday.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Saturday 2
Sunday

That way we can do all of the stuff we're doing now on the first Saturday, and have the next day (Saturday 2) to lounge around or get things done that couldn't happen on Saturday.

Yes.
That is what I could use the most right now.

a-team

2010-06-24T18:37:00.001-06:00

My brother, A-Team is officially home from his mission!He served a faithful two years in Toronto, Canada.

And now he's home!
It's so great to see him!

He looks great!

Welcome home, Austin!

elder t-ca$h

2010-06-21T17:47:00.005-06:00

Taylor has officially been a missionary for one week.

His farewell was on the 13th and he did a fan-freakin-tastic job. I can honestly say it was one of the very best talks I have ever heard. Here's a brief excerpt from the beginning of his talk:

Brothers and Sisters, I hate being in pain. Absolutely hate it. I hate suffering, and I hate being scared. I hate being sick, and being sad, and especially, I hate being inadequate or inept at something. Most of all, I absolutely hate that feeling that I get because of something I’ve done and shouldn’t have, or something I didn’t do and should have. I would much rather live a pain-free, sickness free life where I’m always happy, never scared, and I am not just adequate at somethings, but exceptional at anything and everything.

But as is often the case in our mortal existence, what we want is not always what’s best for us. Sure, a life without trials, pains, and weaknesses would be great. But we wouldn’t learn anything from our experiences, we wouldn’t be able to feel true happiness, and we wouldn’t be able to grow. But luckily for us…actually, luck has nothing to do with it. Heavenly Father’s plan is not some cosmic coincidence composed of convenient conditions, but rather a distinctly doctored design that defines our divine destinies. So not luckily for us, but fatefully for us, our Father in Heaven sent His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die for us so that we may overcome those things that keep us from the presence of God.

That Atonement, that frees us from sin, also liberates us from many other distressing things in our lives. In Alma Chapter 7 verses 11-12, it says: “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” So Christ suffered not only just the sins we have done, which in and of itself is an unbearable thought, he also felt our despair, sadness, frustration, pains, sicknesses, inadequacies, temptations, guilt, shame, sorrow, terror, helplessness, and every other form of trial or hardship that we have faced. Indeed, it is an infinite atonement, meaning that there is absolutely nothing that Christ hasn’t felt in our behalf.

Tay then went on to compare sandwiches to the atonement. It was truly profound. I would post that part, but I'm nervous someone will steal it and call it their own. So if you want a copy of it, let me know. The kid is so in tune. He is such a spiritual giant. I look up to him so much and am so grateful that he is my brother.

He was set apart the night of the 16th. It was bittersweet. I know that he will be such a great missionary, but I'm going to miss him a lot. Like a lot a lot.

I'm truly blessed to have such a great family. They are the best and I wouldn't trade a single one of them.

Taylor had to report to the MTC in Preston, England so we took him to the airport last Thursday. It was fun to see how excited he was. And I am so excited for him. He's going to have an awesome two years in Manchester. We got his first email today and were relieved to hear that he's already loving it and having a great time. He has such a great attitude and I'm so happy he is serving the Lord. What a great guy, that Taylor. He's going to make the city of Manchester fall completely in love with him.

Love you, T Ca$h! Go spread the word!

two years

2010-06-12T18:48:00.002-06:00

We have officially been married for two years.

Man, it's sure flown by so quickly.
I can't believe it.

And I love him even more now than I did in this photo:Happy Anniversary, Brans.
I love you.

on the cover

2010-06-10T08:18:00.004-06:00

Life is utterly crazy. I'll post a complete update soon

(when I get the time...)

But just in case you've been wondering what
Branson and I have been doing lately,

Check this out:That's right.
Brans and I are on the cover of the Deseret News Sports Section.

We scored front row tickets to
the Real (pronounced ree-al) Salt Lake soccer game
last night against LA Galaxy.
(more on that to come...)

Go REAL!

m&ms

2010-05-21T08:28:00.002-06:00

This is one of the many reasons I love my job.

I have the best coworker friends ever. Seriously.

Who else has people make hearts out of m&ms
on their desks when they're having a stressful day?

I. Love. My Job.
And even more than that -
I. LOVE. The. People. I. Work With.

may

2010-05-19T20:20:00.002-06:00

May has gotten away from me.

Mild recap:

Austin and Taylor miss each other by a week. Yep... 7 days. Taylor leaves on the 17th, and Austin comes home on the 24th. I totally called it.

Lots of changes at work - My department combined with another, and I'm not sure exactly how my job will be affected. I wish that I could know all of the details so I can jump in and start figuring things out. But in the meantime - things are still crazy busy. But I love it.

Remember that one time when I sliced my finger on Branson's birthday? Over year later, and I still don't have full feeling in it. Awe-some. Not.

To add to the still numb finger, I've had major carpal tunnel issues lately. Total bummer.

Blogging, as with laundry, dishes and weeding have basically gone by the wayside. It's sad when you're too busy to clean your clothes. (And our dryer sucks. Seriously. We have to put clothes through 3 cycles of drying to get them officially dry. Awful.)

Our schedule currently consists of waking up too early, going to work, working hard all day, coming home, making dinner, working some more (i.e. piano lessons, fixing our house, washing only the necessary clothes and dishes to not be dirty and gross, etc.), and then going to sleep. And then we wake up and repeat it all over again. It's a boring schedule most days, but we're happy. Happy and healthy (minus these dreaded allergies. Thank you, spring in Utah).

And time keeps passing. Crazy fast. I've made an executive decision that there needs to be 8 days in a week. I just need one more day. Our Saturdays fill up too quickly and Sundays are full of church things. So one more day. A day to sleep in, and get all the laundry done. And time to garden and play the piano. And to bake fresh bread and cookies.

Now I just need to figure out how to make that happen... hm.

love and taxes

2010-04-16T07:31:00.001-06:00

Operation: Tax Bitterness
complete.

(And yes, I know that my taxes didn't have anything to do with the health care reform or paying for other people's insurance... just trying to make a joke. Apparently, I'm not funny. Who knew?)

I am completely over the whole thing. (My bank account, now, that's another story. But me - I'm over it. And have taken extreme measures to ensure it does not happen again. Or at least as bad again. Crossing my fingers...)

But in other news, it's the middle of April. And it's warm outside. And there are daffodils in my front yard. And I'm currently in love with spring.

Speaking of loving things:

I love going to the temple with Brans.
I love catching up with friends.
I love hanging out with Nick & Kadee.
I love that the new guy at work is a fan of The Big Bang Theory.
And I love that he will randomly shout "BAZINGA!"
I love wearing flipflops.
I love Brans teaches me new things all the time.
I love Dior mascara.
I love fresh pineapple lotion.
I love watching the sunrise over Mt. Olympus.
I love grapefruit gummy slices.
I love (most) of my coworkers.
(Ok, just an elite 20 or so. Not most. I like most. Not love.)
I love string cheese.
I love organizing things.
I love playing games.
I love the lemon cake I made for my birthday.
I love our home.
I love Brans. (duh.)

I am definitely loving life right now.

taxes

2010-04-14T07:25:00.001-06:00

Our taxes are officially filed and paid in full.

Thank you, President Obama/The Government, for moving us from comfortably lower-middle class to just lower class. Really appreciate it.

Oh, and you're welcome, People-of-America-Who-Now-Can-Have-Health-Insurance. I'm pretty sure our taxes just paid for a family of 12.

Don't worry: Bitterness towards the matter will conclude April 16th at 7:30am, whereupon I've decided not to dwell on it, and will only be bitter should we have to pay so much next year.

birthday celebrations

2010-04-13T07:53:00.002-06:00

I've had a lovely week full of birthday celebrations.

To kick things off, the in-law gals took me to dinner and a movie. We had a delicious meal at Chili's and then saw "The Bounty Hunter" - Hilarious! There were a few times during the movie that Kendyll and I looked at each other while laughing to see tears streaming down each other's faces. So funny! It was such a lovely evening. I love spending time with Shannon, Kendyll and Jenee - They are some of my favorite people!

I also had a delightful lunch with a plethora of favorite co-workers at The Olive Garden. Don't worry, they convinced the 3 Tenors (aka waiters) to sing "Happy Birthday" to me, italian style. It's so nice to have such great co-workers. I have definitely developed so many wonderful friendships here. I love it! It's awesome when you can look forward to coming to work, because there are so many friends there to greet you every day. (Sidenote: one of my favorite co-workers was out of town for the co-worker lunch, so she took me to lunch yesterday. I seriously have the best friends.)

My family (including Grandma, our basically adopted brother Alex, and Bash's adorable girlfriend, Aubrie) came over for a birthday celebration dinner, full of Cafe Rio-esque burritos (so good!) and the best lemon cake I've ever made. Seriously, folks - it was incredible. And after we'd stuffed ourselves with dinner and cake and ice cream, we enjoyed several rousing rounds of the game Pit (a family favorite). Highlights: Everyone ganging up on Bryson because he kept willing. Aubrie and I may or may not have looked at his cards and purposefully kept the one he needed to win. I love the fact that my family loves to play games with each other. We always have so much fun together.

On the actual birthday, Branson planned out the whole day - and did a mighty fine job, I might add. (Though he kept it all a secret... throughout the day I would ask, "What's next?" or "What are we doing after breakfast?", etc. And he wouldn't tell me.) He got up and make breakfast for me, took me shopping for a new pair of shoes, scheduled couples massages ahead of time (soooo nice) and then whisked me away to Park City for the afternoon.

He had heard that the curator (Bob Santelli) of the Grammy Museum in LA was going to be in town, giving a lecture and displaying an exhibit all about music, and (correctly) thought that I would be interested in that. I have to admit, I was a little shocked by the thoughtfulness of it all. We loved the lecture - and Bob Santelli even gave a shout out to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! (When he did, I leaned over to Brans and said, "I'm considering that a birthday shout out to me, since the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is part of my job." Awesome.)

After the lecture and scoping out the exhibit, we walked up and down Main Street window shopping and looking in all the art galleries. It was such a lovely day - perfect weather. To conclude the evening, we went and tried out a new sushi place in Sandy called Fugi's. Delicious. I love sushi. Can't get enough. It was such a perfect day. Brans is so good to me.

Tonight, I'm going to dinner with Miss Sarah. I'm very excited. Haven't seen her in a while, and I'm sure we have a lot of catching-up to do. And Thursday, it's dinner and the temple with Nick and Kadee, with italian sodas to celebrate my birthday.

It has definitely been a fantastic birthday week. Everyone has been so nice to me and I can't express how truly grateful I am for all of the fabulous people in my life. I'm filled to the brim with thanks.

easter

2010-04-04T07:00:00.000-06:00

April has always been my favorite month. It is usually full of spring weather. It's the month of my birth. I get to hear inspirational words from people I deeply respect that compel me to be a better person. And occasionally, Easter lands in April.

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays. To many, it means Cadbury eggs and exciting scavenger hunts for Easter baskets and eggs. Not to mention chocolate. Oh, the chocolate!

For me, Easter means so much more. Easter is my personal celebration of my Savior's life and ministry, His atonement and His resurrection. Jesus suffered for every mistake I have and will ever make. He felt every sadness, disappointment, sickness and pain I will ever feel. He bled for every repeated sin, for each awful thing I do. He endured more physical and emotional pain that I can even imagine. And when he had finished that for me, he did it all again for every individual who would ever walk the earth. After that, he wore a crown of thorns and hung from a cross, giving his life, for me.

painting by Greg Olsen

But that's not the part of Easter that I like to focus on. It is important and I am so grateful for each moment of Christ's life... But my favorite part is when He returned. I love hearing the story of Jesus appearing to Mary Magdalene as she wept beside His tomb. I love that He returned again, three days later, after he had been resurrected. Three days later when he had completed His mission, and made it possible for possible for me and the people I love [and even the people I don't love so much] to also be resurrected and return to live with Him and God again.

I can only imagine what it was like. I would love to have been a fly on the wall, or a flower in a meadow he walked through. More than that, I would have loved to have been there. I would had loved to see my Savior standing there is all His glory. I would love to touch the nail prints in His hands. I would love to see His smile and His loving eyes.

Someday I will. And what a glorious day that will be. But in the meantime, I do my best to live worthily to be able to stand on that day and tell Him that I did my best, that I tried to emulate Him and heed His words. I know I have my weaknesses and I am working on them... But I hope that someday I can stand in the presence of my Savior and hear Him say "Well done, Shanna" as He envelops me in His arms.

So, as I reflect during this Easter season, I echo the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley:

He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God. Of this [I] bear solemn testimony this day of rejoicing, this Easter morning, when we commemorate the miracle of the empty tomb, in the name of Him who rose from the dead, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

madness

2010-03-18T18:41:00.004-06:00

March Madness is my favorite.
Allow me to repeat for effectiveness:
March Madness is my favorite.

It has begun. And what a great start! The BYU vs Florida game was a perfect kick-off and demonstrated what is so great about college basketball. It went into overtime twice! And luckily, the Cougars pulled it off. Thank heavens. What a great sport.

Needless to say, the tv(s) in our home will be on CBS for the next few weeks. Sorry other networks that give us quality entertainment. But our allegiance lies with sweaty 19-25 year old guys running back and forth with a basketball. And yes, we love it.

The upsets. The sick 3s. Jimmer Fredette at the free-throw line. The brackets. I'm beating Branson so far. The sportsmanship. My one complaint: Greg Gumbel. Man, he drives me crazy. March Madness would be even better if Gumbel didn't flash on the screen every other second.

The games, though. Oh, the games! How I love them.

daylight savings

2010-03-16T08:52:00.001-06:00

I
hate
Daylight
Savings
Time.

Boo.

the hourglass door

2010-03-03T20:50:00.004-07:00

I am obsessed with this book.
I happen to know the author.
She's fantastic. And I like her a lot.
I also happen to have just finished reading
the second book in this series
[The Golden Spiral]
that won't be released until May.
And let me tell you -
Completely awesome. Both of them.
As much as I enjoyed vampires and werewolves
ahem, shape shifters...
I totally love this more.
Highly recommending it is an understatement.
Buy it
Find out more

march

2010-03-02T07:30:00.001-07:00

Dear March, My Old Friend:

Thank you for bringing 50 degree weather with you. I really appreciate not having to wear my big, heavy coat anymore. Also - Thank you for collaborating with the sun - Man, is it good to see you both working together. I'm simply delighted about your arrival.

The past few months have been pretty difficult without you. I had almost convinced myself that you would never come. January and February sure weren't very polite and most definitely did not cheer me up like you do, March. Things got pretty gloomy around here, what with the biting cold and the lack of snow to justify it. I may or may not have made paper chains counting down the days until you were here. So again, thank you for coming.

I'm thrilled about all the great things you have brought with you: so many birthdays, a new coworker to take away some of my stress, a new plan, a new resolve to be happy, family here from out of town, a beautiful little girl's baby blessing, the reorganization of our home - the list could go on and on. You definitely timed it just right, March. And I'm so glad you arrived when you did. Had you been even a single day late, I just might not have been able to bear it. But here you are, with sunshine in tow. And, gosh, I could not be more grateful.

March, I don't think you fully understand the magnitude of your coming. You've lifted my spirits from that dark, dreary slump February put me in. I am forever indebted to you for your kindness.

Oh, and March? Tell April to come visit soon, too. She always brings such lovely flowers with her. But, March... Don't forget to stay awhile. At least 31 days, if you must limit your stay. I hate to see you go, but understand that you must. Eventually.

March, I am grateful for you. For you and for all you bring with you. I'm delighted beyond belief.

Yours Truly,
Shanna

Called to Serve - T-Ca$h Style

2010-02-20T12:12:00.006-07:00

On February 19th, 2008, my brother A-Team opened his mission call. He was called to the Canada Toronto West Mission. He entered the MTC on June 18th, 2008 - just days after Branson and I got married.

Friday night (February 19th, if you were wondering) my brother T-Ca$h opened his mission call...

The room was full of our family, Grandma, this Bishop and our buddy Alex and about a million of T-Ca$h's friends. Ok, about 20 of his friends. but the room was packed. And you can hear the cheers that erupted when he announced that he was called to the England Manchester Mission. We were all excited. Our Grandma's parents were Mission Presidents in England Mission that included Manchester at that time. Pretty sweet.

But our family was more interested to hear when he was leaving.

You see, Austin has been gone for over a year and a half. He is going to be coming home sometime in June, we think (since he left in June two years ago), so when Tay is going was what we were super interested in. Wondering if he would be able to see Austin, or whether he would miss him and go 4 years without seeing him.

So when Ca$h read that he was to report to the MTC in England on June 18th, mom and I erupted. We laughed and gawked. We had been talking about it all week, and I was convinced that they were just going to miss each other. So when he said June 18th... It totally solidified my conviction. I'm pretty sure that they'll miss each other by days.

England. T-Ca$h is going to England. He's going to come home with a cute little accent (just like my friends Spence and Sam did when they came home from England... ha ha). And he's going to be such a great missionary. I'm so proud of him for deciding to go on a mission, and for being worthy to go in the first place. He's going to be fantastic.

And how crazy is it that A-Team and T-Ca$h both opened their calls on February 19,th and they both go to the MTC on June 18th. Seriously... Crazy!

learning

2010-02-11T18:52:00.005-07:00

Things I have learned this week:

I have the best friends ever. Seriously.

Kendyll and Shaylyn are two of the most adorable gals I know.

I shouldn't read into any of the crazy dreams I have.

Hearing from an old friend out of the blue is priceless.

What I consider short hair is not what
other people consider short hair.

I am allergic to contacts. I think. And I'm upset about it.

The government hates people who are married who don't own houses,don't have kids, and aren't going to school.

We are getting screwed by our taxes.
And no, I don't want to talk about it.

I cry every time I see a TurboTax and/or H&R Block commercial.

Sometimes, all I want to do is cuddle up in a blanket and watch tv.

I am thoroughly entertained by Joss Whedon's show Firefly.

My dream is to be able to stay home and cook all day.

I would totally rock a Food Network Channel show.

My dad thinks I make the best chocolate cake ever.
But don't ask... It's a secret recipe.

I am not addicted to my phone.
I can be without it for hours and not care.
(Which I consider a great feat, compared to all of those Blackberry/iPhone addicts. No offense.)

I wish I were more like my mom.

Sometimes when everything is going wrong,
God lets you know it'll be ok.

Tithing blessings are real.

I have changed so much in the last 5 years.

Yet, so much of me is still the same.

I am so grateful for my family.

I miss joking and badgering with my brothers.

I have so much to learn.

And I am truly showered with blessings from up above.

Don't ask me to count them, because I'll go forever.

And then the dishes will never get done.

Or the laundry.

I am learning. I'm changing. I'm growing. I'm re-learning. I'm realizing. I'm remembering. For better or for worse. Crossing my fingers it's for good. I have so many things to work on. Topping that list is probably my attitude. I've been stuck in a rut for a while, and the 'misfortunes' have been getting the best of me. I've tried to be optimistic... for a minute. And then BAM! TurboTax commercial. And then when I decide to stop my blubbering and wipe my tears - BAM! I make an awful dinner. And then when I clear the table and try to hide my hurt pride - BAM! A glass is dropped and broken. BAM! BAM! BAM! (It's been a rough week... Don't judge me. Please.)

But I need to stop focusing on all of that and instead see that luckily, no one was sliced when said glass was dropped. And luckily, I usually do make great dinners - And I can try again and make a new dinner tomorrow. And luckily, we have food so that I can make dinner tomorrow. And luckily, I have a tomorrow. (Barring the unexpected... of course.)

So I'm lucky. And by lucky I mean blessed. Because I'm pretty sure they're the same thing.

And I'm learning... lots of things. About myself. About what I want to be. And when I grow up, (and maybe before...) I want to be better. Nay, I want to be the best. Not necessarily better than everyone else. I don't want the responsibility of being the best at everything... that would certainly get tiring after... like two minutes. I want to be the best at being me. I want to be the best me.

Slowly, but surely, I'm learning how to do that. And I've got so much more to learn.

losing track

2010-02-03T08:19:00.002-07:00

Remember that one time when it was still January? Ooh, better yet - Remember that one time when it was still November?

Yup. Pretty sure I'm losing track of time. It's already February, and that blasted groundhog saw his shadow yesterday. (Though, I must admit that I think the whole "Groundhog's Day" thing is a crock. Really? We determine the coming of spring with a rodent? I mean, come on. Really?!) The weather has been feeling a lot like early March instead of early February, and is making my ache for spring that much more. I'm totally in the mood for spring cleaning, blossoms on our trees and light-jacket weather. Granted, I have some cute winter coats. But I feel that their seasonal usage should come to a close rather quickly.

I've decided I'm blaming the loss of time tracking on my job. Just when I think things will die down... they don't. The holidays were so crazy with work [insert gratitude for having a job here], I barely had time to think about Christmas until it was knocking on my door in the form of in-laws and Santa Claus. (Don't be confused... I don't think my in-laws and Santa Claus are the same. Come on - everyone knows that Santa Claus doesn't knock on the door!) So December flew by in a flash. And now January is gone too. What even happened in January? I can't recall...

Work... Piano lessons... Playing the organ in Stake Conference (super intimidating - though I received several compliments.)... A few encounters with friends (though definitely not as many as there should have been)... And an almost-failure of attempted resolutions. (I swear I'm trying. But it's just so hard to follow through on resolutions when you have no concept of the time flying by. How am I supposed to try to be a better person when January barely existed for like three days?)

And now its February. At work, we're already working on summer and fall products - so this part of me keeps thinking it just might be summer. You know, when I'm sitting at my desk, listening to John Mayer, with no windows in sight reminding me of the inversion and 30 degree temperatures outside. And for a minute I think it might just be warm when I walk outside.

And then... Failure. I leave the building to run an errand or grab lunch and am reminded that - oh yeah, it's still winter. The worst part of winter, too. The part of winter when the air is so awful it burns your throat just to breathe. The part of winter when the only thing to look forward to is spring. No Thanksgiving or Christmas to make winter acceptable. Yup. That part of winter. The part of winter called "February."

Granted, lots of great things happen in February:
My parents anniversary. My dad's birthday. Valentines Day. Hiring a new person in the music department to help relieve a little of the madness. A potential new piano student. A girls night with Kendyll and Shaylyn. So close to March Madness. All of my favorite tv shows are in full swing. Its the 2 year anniversary of when I decided that marrying Branson would be the best decision ever.

See? Lots of good things. I need to focus more on those. And I will. As for those resolutions - I'm still hoping February proves more successful that January.

Please bless that February doesn't fly by as quickly as the last few months.

loves

2010-01-14T20:39:00.008-07:00

I love when Branson says "Hey you! Come here..."- I love sushi - I love sleeping in - I love hanging out with my brothers - I love my blue piano - I love making other people happy - I love writing - I love watching Veronica Mars - I love cuddling with my husband - I love the smell of Japanese cherry blossoms - I love going to the temple - I love minimalistic jazz - I love medical dramas - I love watching The Big Bang Theory - I love wearing hoodies - I love fresh flowers - I love modern medicine - I love paying tithing - I love playing the organ - I love Branson's family - I love polka dots - I love playing games - I love Disneyland - I love cooking - I love the mountain view from my window - I love art - I love watching movies - I love making our bed - I love musicals - I love baking - I love apothecary jars - I love having great friends - I love fireplaces - I love pants that fit just right - I love reading - I love going to bed early - I love pearls - I love old photographs - I love Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother - I love when Branson hugs me while I do the dishes - I love making recipes from scratch - I love college football - I love snow globes - I love being creative - I love the color green - I love lemons - I love fresh laundry - I love 3-day weekends - I love making snowflakes out of paper - I love Sandra Bullock chick flicks - I love how alike the girls in my family are - I love being married - I love music boxes - I love comfortable clothes - I love the example my parents set for me - I love a lot of things.

a great start

2010-01-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

I've been in kind of a funk lately...
Nothing blog worthy has happened.
And I haven't been very good at my goals for 2010 so far...

I've been frustrated at work.
I have completely had it with Creepy McCreeperson(s).
(yes, there has been more than one McCreeperson)
I've opted to sleep in rather than get up and work out.
I fallen behind on laundry... again.
And I haven't even made an attempt
at keeping our house in order.

Pretty great start to the new year, wouldn't you say?

But in other news, I've played the piano and organ more in the past week than I have in a long time. And I finally got a chance to read Dan Brown's new book. I also haven't worked late a single day this year. And I've been pretty dang good at diligently reading my scriptures. I've made our bed almost every day this year. And I have made a serious effort to be more outwardly grateful and gracious.

As for the rest of my goals, I'm... working on them. Promise.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's bedtime.

baby avery

2010-01-05T20:44:00.003-07:00

I am happy to announce that I now have a niece!

Avery Mariewas born a week ago.
She is absolutely adorable.
And I'm super excited that she is here.

(Thanks Kendyll, for the super cute photo...
and for making such perfectly darling kids.)

a new year

2010-01-01T21:24:00.001-07:00

2009 flew by way too fast. But I am welcoming 2010 with open arms.

2009 was a good year - there were hard times and happy times (as with most years, I'm finding). But some great things happened: Branson started a new job. My job got really crazy and stressful... several times. We spent a lot of time with family and friends. Brans and I celebrated one year of marriage. Our nephew Jack was born. Branson's brother Dane married Jenee. We remodeled our bathroom. We grew closer to each other.

So many experiences, some too special to share.

But 2010... Gosh. I remember December 31, 1999 - It was surreal to think that in just a few hours it would be 2000. No more Nineteen-Nineties. Two Thousand was here. 2005 came quickly thereafter. And in 2008 I was planning a wedding, thinking 2010 still seemed so far away.

And now it's here. And I've decided to make it a fantastic year.

I'm going to handle stress better.
I'm going to be more faithfully diligent.
I'm going to serve more.
I'm going to make time for myself.
I'm going to be a better wife.
I'm going to get in shape.
I'm going to keep a journal.
I'm going to be a better friend.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to learn to sew well.
I'm going to keep a house of order.
I'm going to be happy.
I'm going to have lots of fun.

Happy New Year.

merry christmas

2009-12-31T20:01:00.007-07:00

We had a lovely Christmas. And a wonderful holiday season.

We cut down our own Christmas tree
We decorated our house
We partook of the Annual Holiday Pie

We got a new bedroom set for Christmas

We got to talk to Austin and Chad -
It's hard to believe they'll both be home
within the next little while. Crazy.

All in all, it was a good Christmas.
And we're looking forward to the New Year.

Merry Christmas.

so many things

2009-12-26T22:52:00.003-07:00

I can't even begin to catch up on everything that is going on:

Photos with Natalie Cole and David McCullough
How the massage went
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day
Christmas Presents
Sherlock Holmes
My new desire to move to Paris and become a chef
Talking to Austin and Chad

...just to name a few and offer just a slight teaser into our lives...

But seriously, folks. Santa didn't bring me any more time for Christmas, so unfortunately... that's all I got. Tune in next time to find out more!

PS - I'm exhausted.

december

2009-12-20T23:23:00.001-07:00

My body is in knots.

I can't walk or stand up straight because I have knots in my shoulders and neck, and a freaking boulder in the middle of my back that makes any movement painful. No, my arms have not gotten more muscular - the slightly noticeable added bulges are also knots of the painful variety. I haven't slept well because of said knots. Every position is uncomfortable. Seriously... every one.

I've spent almost every waking hour of the past three weeks working my guts out.

From planning the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's signing with Natalie Cole and David McCullough to taking care of ticketing at the Forgotten Carols, dealing with drama in the workplace and trying to still maintain a life outside of my job. i.e. Making sure my husband gets dinner. And that we have clean clothes to wear. And trying to get in the Christmas groove. Not to mention, trying to find time to breathe or eat or blink.

Curse this hard work ethic of mine. Gosh, Mom and Dad - why'd you teach me to work so hard?

The first week of December, I just-so-happened to discover a pretty big problem - nay, fiasco. Let's call it "Fiasco 2009." I was getting ready to leave work - 5pm was quickly approaching. But I just wanted to check something real fast.

Now, a small part of me thinks that it was no accident that I had such a strong desire to check said something. If I hadn't, said fiasco could have been worse. Much worse. By checking said something real fast, I was able to identify said fiasco and come up with at least some sort of solution prior to the event, as opposed to having to problem solve in a moments notice.

However, the larger part of me wishes I had just left work at 5pm - as planned - and said fiasco would have been cleaned up by someone else. Blast my obsessive compulsive tendencies! See, the problem with my finding and fixing Fiasco 2009 was that it wasn't my job. Sure, I help others with their jobs when necessary. I like to think I'm nice and compassionate like that. But this was completely different. I essentially took on someone else's job. Someone still employed to do what I did for them.

And here's the thing: I shouldn't have been the one to fix it. I shouldn't have been the one to find it. And I certainly was not the one who caused it. You see, there was someone hired to do such things. Someone to make sure there weren't any problems, and if any arose, to solve them. Now, I won't use words like "incompetent" or "failure" or "complete idiot" because I now know how that feels... But believe you me: I've come close. [Disclaimer: I may or may not have used the words "stupid" or "useless." Perhaps. But I will neither confirm nor deny any claims.

Yeah... One night I came home feeling real good [read awful]: Working all day from 7:30am until 11:00pm and being called "incompetent," "a complete idiot," "a failure" and almost assaulting a drama teacher after he completely wrote off any authority I had [story for another day] and basically telling me I could shove it... Yeah. I've had a great time with Fiasco 2009.

Oh, I could complain about this for years. Seriously. It was that big of a problem and that inconvenient. But it has been totally hindering any feeling of the Christmas Spirit. And, for goodness sake, it's the 20th of December. Christmas is in 5 days.

So suffice it to say: I was super frustrated with my non-job job. Frustrated that there was a Fiasco 2009 in the first place. Frustrated that I had to deal with it. Frustrated that not many recognized the depth of heart I put into fixing it. But mostly frustrated because it took away from everything else.

But...

I had an a few glimmering moments that got me through. As previously mentioned, I was in charge of planning and coordinating the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's signing with Natalie Cole and David McCullough. It was well thought out and very well planned, if I do say so myself. I received a very kind email from the manager of the Choir afterward saying:

It was without doubt the best organized, most efficient signing I have been involved with in my 8 years here. I hope it will be a model for all the others we do! You got folks through the line and face time with the artists and did it all in an amazingly short time! The artists were very pleased and you made us all look like superstars!

Yup. Superstars.

But wait. It gets better. I strategically placed myself at the front of the line, facilitating everything to Natalie Cole and David McCullough - Freak. I spent all the time planning and organizing. I wanted to be the one that helped them personally. Once the signing started, along with the help of those I bribed to help me, we had a rockin' system going. We cruised through the line and kept everything orderly. At the beginning, Natalie Cole's manager seemed a little uneasy with the whole situation - so many people, not a lot of time, probably worried that a bunch of crazy mormons would attack her client. But after a few minutes, she was impressed by our system and organization. About 30 minutes into the event, she leaned over to me and said:

"Are you in charge of this signing?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Well, you do a great job!"
"Hey, thanks!"
"No, seriously. This is the best signing we've ever had. Like ever. And we've done a lot of these things. None of them have ever gone this smoothly or been this organized."
"Well, I'm glad it's going well."
"Seriously, I want to take you on the road with us..."
"Me? Ha ha Really?"
"Yeah, really! I'd love to take you with us."
"{awkward, embarassed laugh} Ha ha... Ok. Sweet. Sign me up."

And then I was interrupted by a woman who wanted to take a pitcure with Natalie. How rude of her interrupting my moment of glory! Kidding... Kinda.

It was a huge compliment. Natalie Cole's manager wanted to take me on the road with them. Freaking awesome. Total pay day. It made my 18 hour workday totally worth it. And it helped me remember why I love my job. Because I do. I really do love my job.

And now, I'm off. I've taken off two weeks for Christmas. Two well-deserved weeks of vacation. [I say vacation like I'm going somewhere... But I'm not.] Branson's family is coming to town for the holidays, so most of my "vacation" will be revolving around them, squeezing in some time for my family and hopefully a few days all to myself.

I'm completely in need of a deep-tissue massage.

But now it's Christmas. Truly... the most wonderful time of the year. I'm just glad that now I can focus on that. Instead of Fiasco 2009.

So, what do the next few days hold in store for me?
Well, a massage for one thing. And holiday baking. Playing the piano and reading. Organizing my house. And wrapping presents.

Yes, it's going to be a good holiday.

unforgettable

2009-12-11T13:04:00.004-07:00

today i attended a press conference for the mormon tabernacle choir featuring natalie cole and david mccullough.

it was incredible.

to see my favorite moment of the morning, click below.

unforgettable.
it truly was.

baby, it's cold outside

2009-12-09T06:06:00.001-07:00

life has never been more crazy.

all of my time is currently being eaten up by:

the forgotten carols.
solving ticket problems.
coordinating the signing for the mormon tabernacle choir -
featuring natalie cole and david mccullough.
figuring out what to get brans for christmas.
organizing my house.
playing the organ - yup, new calling.
dealing with 2am phone calls for brans to go plow snow.
trying to stay sane.

but more importantly,

trying to stay warm.

mm hmm. that is the temperature gauge in my car.
and yes, it does say 4 degrees. four degrees!

baby, it's cold outside!

thankful

2009-11-25T09:10:00.002-07:00

this year, i have a lot fo be thankful for.
more than ever it seems.

branson. my parents. my siblings. my in-laws. the power of prayer. tithing blessings. the opportuniy to fast for a good cause... or several. my testimony. missionaries. good health. skilled hands. priesthood blessings from my husband. favorable circumstances i find myself in. the opportunity to develop my talents. my great friends. extended family. the generosity of others. food. my job. the people i work with. my piano. being able to cook. scriptures. temples. reassurance that everything will always be alright. our home. the ability to express creativity. plus a billion more...

all contributing factors as to why
this is the best time of the year -
my favorite holiday:
thanksgiving.

i hope that thanksgiving treats you as well as it does me.
and that you have many things to truly be grateful for.

happy thanksgiving.

pie face

2009-11-20T23:18:00.005-07:00

today my baby sister turned seven.
gosh, that's hard to believe.
i remember the day she was born.
coincidentally [or not] it was the same day that i first officially failed a test in school. but now, that's not the point here, is it...

pie-fee...
she's such a cute little girl.
she's spunky and sassy, but sweet and sensitive.
i love her.

why do i call her pie face? well, because that's her name, of course! the week she was born, my parents, grandparents, neighbors, ward members and all manner of -ites referred to her as:

such a cutie pie
what a sweetie pie
and all manner of -pies

so tca$h and i started calling her pie.
and then i called her pie face.
and it stuck.

and now lots of people call her pie face.
gee, i feel like such a trend-setter.
[correction: i'm not really]

i find it mind boggling that:

in one year she'll be baptized
branson has known her since she was 4
someday she won't remember life before i was married
she is the smartest of my siblings
[seriously - the girl could get on the internet before she could talk.
and she could read before she could walk.
i'm pretty sure i'm only exaggerating on the later part of this,
and still, only slightly]

and so, i write a simple ode to the babe of the fam...
the youngest... the girl who completed our family:

pief,
[said pie-fff]
i'm glad you're in my life
you never cause me strife
you're cute as a button
and sweet as a muffin
i could eat you like stuffin'
[but i won't]
today you turn seven
sent straight from heaven
to my bread you are leaven
[don't question my rhyme - it's totally legit, yo]
i hope your birthday
is as sweet as a gourmet
[a good one - like at the bellagio]
because i love you - hooray!

happy birthday pie face.

*and just for the record,
yes, i have every intention of calling her pie face for the rest of her life. i see no need to refer to her as anything else. it's worked for seven years so far, and by george, i'll use it for another 87. she's my little pie face. and she always will be.

spinning

2009-11-12T17:00:00.001-07:00

i feel like i'm in the eye of a tornado.everything swirling around me, making me dizzy.

but while i'm spinning and spinning
with seemingly no end in sight,
i've realized a few things:

hard work does pay off... eventually.
there is always a bright side.
i have the most in-tune and amazing siblings.
[seriously, folks, they're incredible.]
sacrificing to help someone else is totally worth it.
i need to de-clutter my life.
it isn't always bad news.
crying is genetic.
sometimes you just have to take a step back.
purple has involuntarily become my favorite color.
[green, i sill love you. green and purple, both favorites]
my mom has perfect faith.
i own way too many unnecessary things.
great music is a rare commodity in 2009.
i just plain suck at exercising.
[but i'm determined to get better at it]
sometimes the thought doesn't count.
miller's creamy honey is undoubtedly the best.
catching up with friends can be completely awkward.
i take too many things for granted.
you really can't judge a book by it's cover.
[or a person, for that matter]
i truly enjoy being helpful.

and so much more.
some i knew before.
some i thought i knew, but just believed.
and some... so entirely new and mind-blowing -

making me spin even faster.

november

2009-11-02T17:50:00.000-07:00

life was crazy in the month of october.
between:

being sick
catching up on work
rearranging a few rooms at our house
hosting a family party
more catching up on work
and balancing our weekends
with football, baseball and cleaning

the month sort of flew by.

and now, here we are;
the beginning of a new month.
one of my favorites, no less.

thanksgiving
football
decorating our house for the holidays
making pies
cutting down our own christmas tree
wearing scarves
and donning my adorable new purple mittens
sitting by [one of] our [many] fireplace[s]
making hot chocolate with my new lovely teakettle
christmas music on the radio

it truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

recap

2009-10-14T15:54:00.001-06:00

quick recap:

conference=awesome.
spent time with the larson family - visiting from CA.
braden's birthday as well as jenee's
a quick trip to vegas
no not for the byu vs unlv game, unfortunately,
for a larson cousin's wedding-
which was lovely by the way.
had a delightful time at serendipity -
making up for the colossal failure 6 months ago.
a late night drive saturday
to be back for church duties sunday at 9am.
started rearranging our house... again.
leaves changed colors; fall is totally in the air.
busy at work
an awesome shout out to a project i helped with
on a very popular and inspiring blog.
yes, i do feel special.

but now, unfortunately, i am sick.

s
i
c
k.

and i'm totally bummed about it. i can't breathe real well, i sound like i have the black lung, and i'm pretty sure my internal temperature is 500 degrees celsius. my eyes are constantly watering - i'm afraid i might drown.

so i've got a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup
boiling on the stove,
a hot cup of spiced cider in my hand,
and i'm decked out in sweats, fuzzy socks, scarves and a hat.
i'm sure it's days like this when branson's attraction to me is surely tested...

now, if you'll excuse me... i'm off to sleep away this sickness.

brady

2009-10-07T23:58:00.002-06:00

today my youngest brother's 12th birthday.

braden... the baby boy is 12. a young man. he's old enough to not be a little boy anymore. (though in my eyes he will be forever a little boy.)

i'm totally freaked out about this. it makes me feel slightly ancient.

i wish i had more time to write about my fifth brother... but today i worked from 7:30am until, well, now. so a sufficient recollection of my favorite things about braden will be coming along shortly.

but for now...

happy birthday brade! i love you!

and now i'm off to sleep to dream about the heavenly chocolate cake i am going to make braden on sunday afternoon.

an extra hour

2009-09-23T20:28:00.005-06:00

i am in desperate need of some extra time.

seriously, folks... Desperate. with a capital d.

its been a super busy year (and it's only september... oh boy.) with weddings, work and family parties galore. not to mention remodeling parts of our house, birthday celebrations and just trying to keep up with life.

i must admit the keeping up with life part has been mildly neglected at times... i have dishes and laundry to prove it. you'd think that two people can't generate that many clothes or dishes in a week. but i just can't seem to catch up. i like to blame it on the fact that i'm at work for 9-10 hours everyday and then come home and make dinner. and then there's just not enough time. some nights i teach piano lessons. some nights we have plans to go out. but most nights, i'm just tired.

dead. beat. tired.

lame excuse? perhaps. blah, blah, everyone is busy... yeah i know. but seriously. i think i could enter a contest. and probably land in the top 5. depending on the time of year, maybe the top 3.

and i'm starting to realize that maybe i have a problem with being too eager at times. and maybe... i said maybe... overestimating my capabilities. regarding the first, as mentioned before, i really love helping people. a lot. i love feeling like i've done some good and accomplishing something. and even better when that accomplishment benefits someone else. so any chance i get, i jump (sometimes literally) to help. however, sometimes, i probably take on too much. i let my ego get the best of me and i am convinced that i can do it... because, why can't i? i don't like being told that i can't do something. so i try, and try. and sometimes try some more until i've aced the talent at an adequate, though not perfect, level of proficiency. so i stretch myself until i can't handle any more. and then i strech some more and take on more responsibilities. because i just can.

but enough of that. because what it boils down to is that i just don't have enought time to be good at everything. time...
time. time. time. time. time.

i just need a few more hours every day. just a few less hours that i need to sleep... which brings me to my nest tangent: in high school, i had insomnia. i survived with minimal sleep every night. sometimes i would get 2 hours of sleep. sometimes i would get less. on a really good night, i'd get 4 full hours of sleep. but i had so much energy and always felt productive. probably because i did so many things at night with the time most people spend sleeping. i would read - sometimes a whole book in one night. (cough cough harry potter cough cough) i would write songs, listen to talks, do homework, exercise - so many things. its amazing what you can do when you don't sleep. but i've found that the older i get, and maybe the more "grown up" i become, the more sleep i need. not get. need. i need to have 7-8 hours of sleep. my body just won't wake up until i've reached that minimum. i try to wake up... but it's just so hard. so i've resorted to going to bed early. earlier than i even had to be home for curfew in high school. and let me tell you - that's pretty early. i'm like an old woman. i have arithritis, i can tell when the weather is going to change by the ache in my joints, and i go to bed early.

i swear i'm only in my twenties. promise.

my point is, that i need just an extra hour or two. even 60 minutes that don't just fly on by.

sixty minutes.
there are so many things that can be done in sixty minutes.
one load of laundry from start to finish.
wash and dry and put away all the dishes from dinner.
an excellent cardio workout.
watching an episode of one of the following:

the west wing
psych
alias
house
fringe
arrested development
and a few others

reading a good portion of a great book
taking a walk

oh, the possibilities!

but alas... there are only 24 hours in a day. jack bauer has drilled that into our heads more times than one. seven, to be precise.

i digress. i need to figure out how to manage my time better. maybe that will make my busy schedule ... not... so... busy...?

who am i kidding?

still, i'm desperate for an extra hour...

rainbow

2009-09-18T20:31:00.002-06:00

this was the view from my porch
when i got home from work tonight

i live in a beautiful place.

japanese day

2009-09-17T20:48:00.000-06:00

september 17th

is one of the most anticipated holidays in my family.it's the day we celebrate my dad's mission to
japan.

we pull out all of my dad's japanese things
and
eat a delicious japanese meal.

miso soup and salad.

yakisoba.

curry and rice.

gyoza.

all so good!
it's like thanksgiving in september.

we're all super grateful my dad served a mission. and not just because he learned how to made scrumptious japanese food. my dad is an awesome example to all of us. i can't fully express the gratitude i have for him. he's seriously the best.

so, happy japanese day. and thanks dad, for serving a mission.

tan man

2009-09-12T20:25:00.005-06:00

yesterday was my brother tanner's birthday. we celebrated today with a delicious italian dinner and the best chocolate cake i have ever made.
and apparently, byu got my message to "please have a great game in honor of tanner - you're #1 fan - for his birthday."

{thanks, cougars.}

tanner is a good kid. he is the most athletic kid in our family. he is growing like morning glory - every time i see him, he's a few inches taller. and i see him every week. no joke.

we all joke that he's the "pretty one" of the family - he is quite the handsome boy. tall, skinny, athletic, smart, spiritual, funny... an all around catch. but not quite yet. he's only 14. no dating for a couple more years.

tan is definitely the coolest of all of us kids. i like to think that i'm cool, but really not so much... a-team was too smart to be really cool. tay was funny enough to earn a "cool" title, but was also lucky to just have lots of cool friends. and we'll see how b dawg works high school - i'm sure he will. but tan - tanner is just all around cool. he's easy going, but not irresponsible. he's funny, but not ridiculous. he's attractive, but not too cocky (thanks to his siblings reminding him that if his head gets big, he's not as pretty). he's just an all around fantastic kid.

i love his guts. i cannot believe that he is 14, and at the same time, i was surprised he's not in high school yet. he is a mature kid for his age and i love being around him.

happy birthday, tan.

hope it was great. love ya.

number nine

2009-09-08T19:13:00.002-06:00

i've been waiting since saturday night to see what the polls would read after the opening weekend of college football.

i was not disappointed.

to say i was thrilled with the outcome of the byu vs. oklahoma game would be mildly understating the sheer bliss. i was no doubt supportive of the cougars from the beginning, and surely wanted them to win... but #3 oklahoma? i didn't want to set my sights too high. so i convinced myself that a decent game, only losing by 10 points, would suffice. one touchdown. one field goal. that's certainly respectable. and if oklahoma was byu's only loss this season, well, that would definitely allow some bcs busting.

but my expectations were exceeded. i won't ever say that the game wasn't sloppy - way too many flags (several that i was convinced were just the refs practicing their flag throwing capabilities...) and a couple kinks needing to be worked out. but by george, i'm proud to be a cougar fan.

it is truly unfortunate that sam bradford was injured. i think bronco said it best in his post-game comments: bradford is one great football player, and it is truly unfortunate anytime any athlete gets hurt. wishing him well was very classy, i think. good man, that bronco mendenhall.

after the game, we discussed where this win would rank the cougars. 12. 13. 11 if we were lucky. so imagine my surprise this morning when the AP poll read number 9. NINE! that's huge! byu broke the top ten in the opening weekend - from 20 to 9. awesome.

now, boys, just keep your heads on straight and don't get rattled. and by all means, do not get cocky. just play football like it was meant to be played.

here's hoping for a 12-0 season.
and a real bcs bid.

go cougars!

opportunity to serve

2009-09-02T10:19:00.004-06:00

i am not a fundraiser-er.

in fact, i loathe fundraisers. i hate asking people for money. i'm not a sales person and i definitely am not a fan of being asked to "donate" $20 for a tiny box of candy bars for the local elementary school.

however, i love serving.
i love helping people.
i love providing as much assistance as i can.

so yesterday, when i found out that a good friend and co-worker's family's home was completely destroyed in the wildfires in auburn, CA... all i could think was how could i help this family?

they came home from church on sunday and only had a few minutes to gather a couple things - a file of original birth certificates, a family picture from the wall and a diaper bag was all they managed to take with them. all of the rest of their belongings - clothes, dishes, appliances, photo albums, wedding keepsakes, blankets, music, furniture - everything.

e v e r y t h i n g is gone.
ashes.

so, while i do not like asking for money, or fundraising in an manner, i feel like they need help.

this is an opportunity to serve.

i have started a collection for this family and, if you feel so inclined, would gladly welcome any other contributions.

they need anything and everything - they have to rebuild their lives from scratch. luckily, they have the gospel in their lives and have maintained an eternal perspective of things, but i'm sure it's not easy. clothes, dishes, blankets, gift cards, cash, anything, i'm sure would be greatly appreciated.

i am sending a package to them on friday, september 11.

if you would like to help,
please contact me at
shannalarson@gmail.com
to arrange pick up and/or drop off.

but most of all, please keep this (and the other families affected)
in your prayers.

i think that will help the most.

catch up

2009-08-18T19:16:00.002-06:00

over the last three weeks, i:

{catered a cousin's wedding}
{played the piano at another cousin's wedding}
{made a wedding cake for a friend}
{realized just how perfect our wedding day was}
{survived a convention at work}
{put on a concert for work}
{worked about 70 hours in one week}
{read and answered over a thousand emails at work}
{went on an album photoshoot with an amazing violinist}
{helped brans run electrical wires for our bathroom}
{found out i'm going to have a niece}
{celebrated my brother's 16th birthday}
{and his being ordained a priest}
{cried in harry potter and the half blood prince}
{have not slept through a single night without waking at least once}
{had a lovely evening with alex, sarah and my family}
{remembered how creative and funny my family are}
{and how convincing my mom is}
{picked a perfect zucchini from our garden}
{renewed my crafty side}
{made a darling headband}
{been told that the "cute police" had been called on me}
{let branson buy a new toy}
{had fun nights with nick and kadee}
{made new goals}
{had an encounter with a rat in our driveway}
{felt smaller than i have ever felt}
{ate the most delicious corn - fresh from our garden}
{fallen more deeply in love with my best friend}
{have a renewed spirit}
{... and much, much more...}

bash

2009-08-11T18:33:00.003-06:00

yesterday was my brother bryson's 16th birthday.

sweet sixteen.

one of my first memories of brysy (pronounced bry-see) was halloween, 1994. mom made a little monkey suit, and bryson was "abu" from aladdin. i'm pretty sure he was the cutest little monkey i have ever seen.

a few years later, we had a family reunion at the lake in hyrum, UT. bryson was too little to really participate in the water activities, but he stood by the side of the lake and yelled in his tiny little voice, "whoa, baby! dirty water!" - probably 15 times. but everytime, it was hilarious.

bryson, or bash, as his friends call him, is a funny kid. i've previously mentioned that taylor is the funny one in our family, but i have to admit part of what makes tay so funny is how he plays off everyone - especially bryson. bryson can setup tay like nobody's business. its awesome. bryson and i have a very, very similar sense of humor. we laugh at the same jokes. like the same movies. quote all the same lines of those movies and tv shows. one thing about him - he has a memory like no other. he can see a show once and quote lines from it like he's seen it a million times.

b is super talented. he sings, plays the piano and has recently picked up the guitar. he has been in many-a show in high school and junior high- as well as ward road shows (most recently as the cowardly lion from the wizard of oz). he has a real knack for musical theater, and he (thanks to his awesome older sister) has great taste in music. (i pride myself on introducing my brothers to good music. a little while ago, the boys and i were going through their iTunes, pointing out all the music that came from me. i love it.)

along with everything else, bryson is also really, really smart. i've decided i feel bad for pie face. it seems that each kid consecutively gets smarter. austin was smarter than me. tay surpassed austin, and i won't be surprised if bryson beats taylor. poor pie. seven siblings setting the bar incredibly high. good thing she'll be taller than all of us.

as my brothers have grown up, i've enjoyed becoming friends with them. not only are we siblings, we're best friends, too. i would rather hang out with my family that just about anything else. i've been told several times by several different people that we are a lot of fun. and at the risk of sounding arrogant, i think they are right. we are a lot of fun. we have fun together. as siblings and friends.

i am a big fan of bryson. he's such a good kid. i'm so glad he is one of my brothers.

happy birthday bryson!

pioneer day

2009-07-24T11:51:00.002-06:00

two years ago, with the help of my mom, i made a pioneer dress, packed my toothbrush, sunscreen and first-aid kit in a bucket {that doubled as a chair} and went to pioneer trek to be the ma to nine teenagers.

i would go into further detail about our trek, but on the scale of pioneer treks from a cake walk to brutal abuse, ours was definitely closer to eating cupcakes... but still full of physical and spiritual growth.

highlights of the trek included:

an afternoon at martin's cove. i cannot fully express what it was like to be there in part reenacting their journey in the exact same spot. there was a sweet reverence in that little cove.

leading the womens pull. wow. {not going to lie, i still can't talk about without tearing up a little bit.} i had three 12 year old girls with me, the biggest of which probably weighing about the same as a cabbage patch doll, and a good friend shelley. and we were the lead handcart. all of the men in our trek left all of the women, and we had a little devotional. truthfully, i was nervous about it. you see, i may be strong willed, but i'm not very physically strong. {i'm not helpless, just not freakishly strong.} and i had tiny, tiny girls to help me. and our trail consisted of a huge steep hill. we're talking super steep. and i live in utah, i know what steep hills are. {apologies to the midwest.} so we began, i had a constant prayer running through my head, asking for as much help as possible. i knew we needed it. so we began, nothing but rocks and dirt in our path. we pulled and pulled our absolute hardest. after pressing on for what seemed like hours, i looked up to see all of the men lined up on the sides of our trail, marking the last stretch of our journey. i had held my composure very well until i looked up and saw my brothers and dad - - - i will never forget the look on their faces. i have tough brothers. super tough. but they looked so helpless. i've never seen them so upset. {i'm not sure if i'm allowed to say they cried, so for the record, they may or may not have cried. hard.} i was so touched - in my family, we all know that we love each other. but it was that moment that it hit me like a train, how much my brothers loved me. i lost control of the tears i was holding back. and by the time we reached the top, i was shaking with emotion. it was the most overwhelmed i think i have ever been. and i'll never forget it.

bribing a fellow trekker with cookies for the use of his guitar, to give to kalai, {also a youth leader in our stake} who entertained us for hours with his awesome songs.

i definitely gained a deeper appreciation for pioneers, even though we didn't have to kill a turkey, or bury and of our children. i completely respect the pioneers, and am so grateful for their sacrifices and their journey to this lovely place i call home.

so, pioneers, thank you. happy pioneer day.

scouts

2009-07-15T13:43:00.001-06:00

brans went to scout camp last week. not just any scout camp - a six day venture up to bear lake.

i interupt this posting to clarify my stance on scouting, for a moment...
ahem. i am fully supportive of the boy scouts of america. i even participated in cub scouts as a young girl. yes, cub scouts. not girl scouts. please don't be confused. (this may be in large part because i was the only girl in the neighborhood, and my mom was the den mother. and i didn't want to feel left out. but it served me well. at yw camp, i set the record for starting a fire the quickest - 2.7 seconds - with only flint and steel. and i may or may not have held the title of best knot tie-er in the land.) i have helped two of my brothers earn their eagle. i even help with scout fundraisers every year - from putting up flags at 6:00am on the 4th of july to spending a little too much money at our troop's silent auction. but all in support of a good cause. see, i am quite in favor of the scouting program.

i am all for supporting branson in his calling as assistant scout master. i continue my support through monthly overnight campouts - yes, monthly. as in once a month. twleve times a year. i'm still a little bitter about the christmas campout... why? why do you have to take fourteen scouts and their leaders away for a weekend the week before christmas? is there a valid reason? is it imperative to being a scout? i have a very strong argument that it is not. but i digress. i buck up and handle a night on my own once a month (ok, so maybe i stay with a friend, or have a sleepover with my sisters... but that is not the point.) but a six day camp about killed me.

literally, k i l l e d me.

in the two years and some months that i have known branson, the longest amount of time that we have been away from each other has only been a few days. even when he went home for the holidays - it was only about three or four days that i didn't see him, but we talked on the phone for several hours to bridge the gap.

so, a six day scout camp with basically no communication (he called me one night and the conversation went like this: "hey shan! my phone's almost dead but i just wanted to call and say i lov----" dead. so really, no communication) was a really, really, r e a l l y long time.

oh, don't worry - i survived. but just barely.

in the time he was gone, i got done several loads of laundry, had a few girl's nights, felt the most sick i have ever felt, encountered a rat in our backyard, drank sour milk and almost threw up, got nearly ran off the road by a bus, stayed late at work a few nights, and didn't sleep very well.

now, i'm not asking for a pity party - i know many have it far worse. like wives of men in the military. or single mothers. or widows. or michael jackson's children - but truthfully, i had a hard time with it. why the camp had to be six days is beyond me. i think a four day camp would suffice.

branson returned home safely... and tan. and he had a great time. which i'm grateful for.

but next time, scouters, can you please not keep my husband for so long?
thanks.

one year later

2009-07-07T21:46:00.001-06:00

i have officially been an employee here
for one year.

some days it seems like
i've been around a whole lot longer than that.

other days, i still feel like the new girl
who is just getting the hang of things.

regardless, {not to be confused with 'irregardless', which happens to not be a word...seriously} i feel like i have a really great job. i enjoy what i do - even when i'm so busy that i can't seem to think straight. i genuinely like the people i work with. i've created some pretty good friendships here - ones i hope will last far beyond my working career.

but i feel pretty lucky.
and yet, lucky doesn't seem to be quite the right word.

i am blessed to have such a great job and work with such great people. i have learned so much in the last 365 days. and looking back, i find it wonderfully comical at how well things have worked out for me. sure, there have been moments of frustration. and a few hard times here and there... but the good definitely out-weighs the bad. and how can i be upset about that? i've been treated far better than i deserve. after all, i am just a twenty-something girl who has a lot to learn.

so, pathway of mine, thank you for leading me here. i appreciate the opportunities and the lessons i've learned. thanks for not leading me astray.